South Park Treat - Craig Tucker vs Bradley Biggle

January 23, 2011

Craig Tucker

Incan Laser Eyes (Season 12 - Pandemic 2 The Startling)

Sumo Wrestling (Season 3 - Tweek Vs. Craig)

Stay Back, Annoy People with Pan Flute Music (Season 12 - Pandemic)

Bradley Biggle

Shoot Berries and Mints (Season 14 - Coon vs. Coon & Friends)

Mint and Berry with a satisfying Crunch! (Season 14 - Coon vs. Coon & Friends)

Fly, Run Away.


Laser Eyes vs Berries & Mint. Edge = Even.

Weird to say, both took down two amazing characters, the Dark Lord Cthulu, and... um, a Guinea Pirate...

Sumo Wrestling vs Mint & Berry... Crunch. Edge = Sumo Wrestling.

Da F*CK does Mint & Berry with a satisfying Crunch do?! You might eat something that tastes a little good, but eating won't get you anywhere when you get Sumo'd!

Stay Back, Annoy vs Fly, Run Away. Edge = Fly.

Flying is a true power, that can confuse or flee from any danger. Staying back isn't fast enough, and annoying someone with pan flute music is just retarded.


On a normal school day in South Park, Colorado, the fourth grade class are in class, listening to Mr. Garrison's new lesson, right when a huge Cthulu foot destroyed the side of the classroom, squashing Kenny as his seat was changed to the side. "Oh my god, they killed Kenny!" "You bastards!" and with that, half the class turned into their super alter egos. Craig looks at the guys and asks what the hell is going on, which Bradley Biggle remarks, "MINT BERRY CRUNCH! SHABLAGOO!" but at that moment Craig started to speak in Peruvian, where sparks flamed his eyes. He instantaneously starts shooting up the classroom. Bradley, now Mint Berry Crunch, shoots berries to fight back the enemy. "Dude, the f*ck is with the berries, and why are they so crunchy?" But he was minted with mints. "Dude, I f*cking hate MINT!!!" Craig yelled as he flipped him off, and then attempted to wrestle him sumo style.

Bradley fell down pretty hard, but he was able to fly up, where more lasers were shot up at him. Eventually, one laser struck Bradley in the neck, and he fell down, where he was sumo'd again. Eventually, Bradley was beaten up so bad, he fell down, and Craig decided to finish him off with pan flute music. After playing for ten minutes, Bradley couldn't take it anymore, and his head blew up.

After the battle, everyone sat back down, and Cthulu was shot down by lasers and killed also by pan flute music. Kenny comes back, donning his Mysterion costume, but noticing Cthulu is dead, takes off the costume, and they resume class.

Craig Tucker: 602.

Laser Eyes: 392.

Sumo Wrestling: 166.

Pan Flute Music: 44.

Bradley Biggle: 398.

Berries: 194.

Mint: 192.

Mint & Berry w/ Crunch: 12.