Roger Clemens' Giant Head May Look Even Bigger in Prison Stripes

August 19, 2010

After their controversial “completely ignore the problem” approach inexplicably failed to rid baseball of steroids, the United States Congress has decided to switch things up a bit and try prosecuting suspected drug abusers. First up in the on-deck circle is Roger Clemens.

Earlier today The New York Times reported that the former Cy Young Award winner has been indicted for various crimes related to his alleged steroid use. In particular, the whole “lying to Congress about not doing them” part.

According to The Times, “The 19-page indictment charges Clemens with three counts of making false statements and two counts of perjury in connection with his February 2008 testimony before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.”

In layman’s terms, when evidence came to light that Clemens had used performance enhancing drugs following his testimony  - in which he denied ever doing so – Congress took a step back and decided to call him a liar. (But in fancy legal terms.)

The paper notes that “Clemens faces a maximum sentence of 30 years in prison and a $1.5 million fine, but under the current sentencing guidelines, a conviction would likely bring 15-21 months.”

This somewhat swift justice should help show kids that honesty is occasionally a decent policy, or – at the very least -  a suitable last resort. (I hope he goes home to his mansion, beautiful wife, and World Series rings tonight and thinks about how cheaters never prosper.)

Photo: Jim McIsaac/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images