Tiger Woods' Love Child Definitely Exists, According to Anonymous Source with Limited Proof

June 14, 2010

A British documentary looking to capitalize on breaking news from seven months ago contains claims that Tiger Woods had a love child with an English gal in 2003. It also explains how much he paid to keep it quiet and the name of the mistress whose life is about to be ruined.

Neal Boulton, an admitted heroin user and ironic former editor of Men’s Fitness magazine, claims that a short film about Woods’ love child will premiere Thursday night in the United Kingdom and help shed light on a situation everybody used to care about.

“There is a lot more to come out. Tiger will eventually admit to fathering a child,” Boulton said, presumably while laughing maniacally.

According to Boutlton - one of several people interviewed for the Jacques Peretti directed project - Woods paid the mother of his bastard child around $3 million to get the hell out of his life.

That’s a very modest down payment on the “please don’t talk to the media” mortgage check he’s going to write his wife later this year.

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