Jessica Simpson Saves Time by Dating an NFL Player Whose Career Has Already Been Ruined
Happiness vulture Jessica Simpson does two things exceptionally well: destroy football careers and publicly date people slightly more famous than herself in order to end up in Us Weekly without the headline “Celebrity Weight Gain” on the cover. Shockingly, her newest boyfriend offers neither of these opportunities.
According to TMZ.com, Simpson is now dating former NFL Tight End Eric Johnson. The 30-year-old New Orleans Saints alumnus has limited experience picking up Nick Lachey's leftovers, but is reportedly head-over-heels in lust with his new trophy girlfriend. (It’s not a first place trophy, but a trophy none-the-less.)
The Saints' media relations department was unavailable for comment, but seemed oddly unconcerned that any association with Simpson could hurt their chances to repeat as Super Bowl champions. (Tony Romo dumped her years ago and still hasn’t made a Conference Title Game.)
Maybe it's time to look seriously at a Detroit Lions Super Bowl.
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