The Top 10 Videos of Girls Eating Phallic Foods

August 10, 2008


Girls have to eat. It’s a fact. We all know that anorexia is a major problem in this country, but these girls are taking that epidemic head on. They are making eating fun, sexy and something you can share with your partner. So in honor of these pioneers, Spike brings you the Top 10 Videos of Girls Eating Phallic Foods. You girls are my personal heroes!

#10 Girl Fails Miserably with Cucumber


This “viva grande” Dame (because she looks like an Opera Singer) struggles with a mammoth cucumber. She just can’t seem to take it and obviously needs a lot more practice. I like her commitment and her rough cough. This video will give you a belly laugh and nightmares.

#9 Pancake Deep Throat


This is exactly what happens when a group of friends get drunk and end up at Denny’s. Intoxication always leads to making one of your female friend deep throat something, such as a rolled up pancake. Much laughter and few priceless quotes ensure, such as “She can’t swallow that, she’ll choke”, “It’s all over your face” and “Do your tonsils feel it”. Gotta love your friends.

#8 Erotic Corndog


This parody commercial is actually a great idea. Someone needs to make the corn dog sexy again. For too long it has been the food of choice for fat nerds whose kitchen is made up of a microwave. This girl does crazy thing with the corn dog and this video takes the award for most phallic food, hands down!!

#7 Girlfriend Will Suck Anything


I don’t how this guy talked his girlfriend into filming her putting an array of foods into her month. She resists the whole time but you can tell she secretly enjoys it. Some of the foods she tries include a pepper, carrot, donut, squash and corn. The video ends with her feigning embarrassment. I beat she’s embarrassed now.

#6Two Girls, One Hot Dog


British girls know hot to handle a hot dog. What’s amazing about this video is two girls suck on the one dog at the same time. In the book of Ecclesiastes it says to “Eat, drink and be merry” which is exactly what these girls are doing.

#5 Sucking on a Popsicle


This is why you should buy your girlfriend a Popsicle. Apparently the Popsicle was accidently invented in 1905 by an 11 year old Frank Epperson. He probably invented it to give to a girl as almost everything created by men was done to impress a girl.

#4 Tonguing a Twizzler


Someone should tell this girl that Twizzler are made to eat and not licked. Twizzlers are tough and leathery. She would have to lick that thing for years to get anyway. Maybe she loves to savor the tastes or her town ran out Twizzlers.

#3 Ice Cream Cone Duo


This is why I work at Spike. We have meetings were we brainstorm ideas such as “Let's get a girl to seductively eat creamy vanilla ice cream from a cone” then someone chimes in “Why don’t we get two girls to seductively eat creamy vanilla ice cream from cones” then my quiet boss will hit it out of the park by saying “Let’s get the two girls to eat creamy vanilla ice cream from the same cone”. That is why he gets the big bucks, hot wife and cool car.

# 2 Licking a Lollipop


This girl is super hot and she’s really talented at eating lollipops. This is what I mean when I say these girls are my personal heroes. Can you imagine how many calories are in that lollipop and girls hate calories. They hate calories like we hate shopping for tampons.

#1 Hot Girl Eats Banana


The banana is the king of phallic foods. It’s what sex-ed instructors use to teach kids how to put condoms on; so you know they’re clean. If the male species ended, bananas would take over.