The Top 10 Ways to Make Next Year's Super Bowl Better
Last night's Super Bowl was the single most watched event in television history. With a few tweaks here and there, next year's big game can be even more popular. And, as anyone who ever attended high school knows, popular means better.
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10. Have More Creative “In Case You Forgot, One of the Quarterbacks Has Been Accused of Rape a Couple Times” Graphics
FOX did an adequate job reminding viewers that the Pittsburgh Steelers' road to the Super Bowl began when the district attorney decided not to press charges, but next year they can really spice things up a bit. Pyrotechnics and dramatic reenactments may be over the top, but perhaps having one of their scoreboard laser-robots get a little frisky with Joe Buck to show children what it takes to play in the big leagues would be a fun treat.
9. Hire at Least 17 More Pre-Game Analysts
Just ask ESPN. When it comes to television personalities, quantity is far more important than quality. Besides, making well-thought-out points is a lot easier when you’re fighting for airtime with a man in his late 40s who still refers to himself in the third person.
8. Provide a Cheat Sheet to the Person Singing the National Anthem
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Up until yesterday, I assumed they were already doing this. Perhaps this falls under the “better late than never” category?
7. Exclusively Show Banned Super Bowl Commercials
These tend to be more interesting and usually feature either nudity or web domain registry information. Pepsi and Doritos have had a nice run, but I’m tired of having to fire up the computer to look at Danica Patrick's, um, shoulders.
6. Pick One Story Angle and Then Beat it to Death the Entire Game
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It was tough trying to focus on the “which town is the most depressing and needs this victory more,” “Does this make Aaron Rodgers better than Brett Favre,” and “Will Ben Roethlisberger Sexually Assault Karma in the locker room,” angles. Viewers at home want Troy Aikman to find one storyline that has nothing to do with the game and then repeatedly bring it up at inopportune times. It's Broadcasting 101.