ShamWow Guy Gets Sham-Powed By Hooker | SPIKE

Vince Shlomi, better known as the guy who peddles ShamWow absorbent towels on TV, has had a bit of his high-rolling celebrity life revealed to us. It turns out not only is he all about cleaning up messes quickly and easily, he's also very much into hookers and beating women. Who knew?

The Smoking Gun reports that Shlomi had a little run-in with a high-priced hooker recently, and managed -- in the process of defending his tongue from said hooker -- to get his ass thoroughly beat:

Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris [the hooker], she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

It continues:

Shlomi was also injured during the fracas and, court records show, was treated at Mount Sinai Medical Center. While Shlomi and Harris were both arrested for felony aggravated battery, prosecutors this month declined to file formal charges against the combatants.

So Shlomi might just get out of doing any hard time. Whether or not he's sated his taste for boozing and whoring is another question.

I think the real issue is, after all the drinking, kissing, punching, and biting were over, who was there to pick up the mess? And did they have a ShamWow to clean up after Shlomi got shlapped like a punk? They could have easily attained one for $19.95. Unfortunately, it's going to take more than twenty bucks to clean up the leftovers of Shlomi's dignity. Assuming he had any to begin with.

The man can certainly absorb more than a bite-sized portion of shame.