Undefeated Bro Off Champ
What's up, bro! I am back this week with another edition of the BroBlog, bro. This week, I am going to talk about my bro-off history. Because I have won so many bro-offs, bro. But people always ask me about my record: Where they took place, what I was wearing, how high my hair was. Bro, the fact of it is this: I am 347-0 in bro-offs and here are my top 5 bro location memories.
5 - Playground - When I was 3 and on the playground in my town in Jersey I was challenged by a young punk in overalls who was two years older. I totally out bro'd him and showed him why I was the king of the playground and then went back to the monkey bars as a newly crowned champ, bro.
4 - Woodshop Class - This bully in my high school in 11th grade named Chad challenged me to a bro off in Mr. Stevenson's class. Not only did I hit the music and outdance him, but I also got an "A" that semester and he failed, bro. wear goggles next time, dummy.
3 - Nursing Home - I wanted to beef up my bro-off record -- so I regularly go up against old people so I always win easily. real talk though, some of those old geezers can bro, bro.
2 – The Ale House In Orlando - After IMPACT WRESTLING weekly I am regularly challenged by fans at the restaurant a lot of us eat at. But I always win. Like some hamster fan would have a shot at being a real bro.
1 – IMPACT WRESTLING - Two weeks ago when I destroyed Mr. Pec-tacular in the first ever televised and IMPACT WRESTLING bro-off. Pro-bro-tip: Bros always beat doods, bro.
There's hundreds more too, like the time I out-bro'd that hamster EY so hard that he cried, or the time I won the bro-off tournament in Rio de Janeiro.
Until next week...ohhhhhhh...you aint on the list, bro.
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Image credit: TNA Entertainment