Russell Brand promises a Katy Perry sex tape, Justin Bieber and Tom Brady get into a hip-hop beef, and Christina Aguilera officially files for divorce...and that's the bottom line, 'cause the Mantenna said so!
Photo: Charley Gallay/Getty Images
Russell Brand Promises Katy Perry Sex Tape
Russell Brand is doing a media blitz for his latest autobiography Booky Wook 2: This Time It's Personal (yes, this is his second). While in New York he was asked whether he and wife-to-be Katy Perry would ever make a movie together. He responded by saying, “We'll do a sex tape! Give them what they want!” Brand then added it was unlikely the two would make a movie together any time soon. Brand is obviously besotted with Perry (who wouldn’t be). He said, “I've found someone who is singularly important to me, so it means compromise, growing up and all the things they tell you in school. Love between two people is the most spectacular yet ordinary thing in the world.” Here’s hoping he wasn’t just joking about the sex tape. [People]
Snooki Loves South Park Parody
Last night’s episode of South Park made fun of Jersey Shore’s self-described guidette Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi. Snooki was portrayed as a pickle eating, boozing Gollum-esque monster. The Snooki monster would roam South Park wearing ill-fitting clothes and “raping” the locals as she grunted “smoosh smoosh.” A team of gun-totting locals tired to run her out of town by shooting her to no avail. Instead it took a Jersey-fied Kyle to punch her out and send her on her merry way. The real Snooki apparently loved the episode. Soon after it aired she took to Twitter and tweeted, “snooki want smoosh smoosh. im going to have nightmares tonight lmao!!! we've officially made it. goodnite my bitches ♥” Snooki has the last laugh. [TMZ]
Christina Aguilera Officially Files for Divorce, Allegedly Cheated on Husband
Photo: Steve Granitz/Getty Images
Christina Aguilera has officially filed for divorce from her husband Jordan Bratman. According to the divorce petition, Aguilera cited "irreconcilable differences" for the breakup. She’s seeking joint physical and legal custody of her 2-year-old son Max. Aguilera and Jordan Bratman actually signed a prenuptial agreement before marrying in 2005 which stated that her earnings before, during or after the marriage will be looked upon as separate property. Aguilera released a statement on Tuesday admitting that the two had indeed split. "Although Jordan and I are separated, our commitment to our son Max remains as strong as ever," she said. TMZ sources have also reported that "the marriage fell apart after Aguilera allegedly cheated on Bratman." What a bad little girl. Nice to know mama is back in the market! [TMZ]
Bieber and Brady… Oh, it's On
Justin Bieber has entered the rap game and thrown down the gauntlet against Tom Brady in his newest freestyle. The tweeny pop star accuses Brady of stealing his haircut and costing Spike.com sports editor David Breitman a ton of money when he choked in last year's playoffs. (Okay, the second part wasn't true.) It's unclear if Bieber wants to pursue a rap career, but if he does, perhaps someone should tell him that it's customary to call out other rappers, not random football players, in your lyrics. [ESPN]
Brett Favre Hit in Groin
It's been a while since we've had a good "Future Hall of Fame Quarterback Gets Nailed in the Nads" video. So, here's one of Brett Favre. The video itself almost sums up his entire year with the Minnesota Vikings. [Yahoo!]
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