The Top 10 Fake Lesbians a.k.a. Fauxmosexuals

October 20, 2008

Girl on girl action is pretty common these days. Generally during College a lot of girls experiment and get a little crazy with each other. These days the trend has gone mainstream and hot girls in the public eye are getting it on and even having very public lesbian relationships. But are these real, meaningful relationships or just an act designed to seek attention? These celebrities who indulge in a bit of lip-stick lesbianism purely to get male attention are referred to as female fauxmosexuals or celesbian. Here are the top 10 currently “out” there.

 

10. Anne Heche

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Her Sapphic Tale:  Anne Heche hit the national spotlight when she started dating Ellen DeGeneres in 1997. This was right around the time when Ellen (the character) came out on Ellen (the show). The world lapped it up.

Why she faked it: This has been Anne's only documented lesbian relationship. Before Ellen she dated her Another World costars Richard Burgi and David Forsyth, Fleetwood Mac musician Lindsey Buckingham and Steve Martin. After Ellen she got married and then had an affair with her Men in Trees co-star James Tupper. Anne’s career reached its peak during the years she dated Ellen.

Will she ever go back to loving ladies? The only possibility of Anne going back to women is if she’s cast in a film or TV show that has absolutely no men in it. This girl can’t get enough of her co-stars.

9. Madonna

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Her Sapphic Tale: She’s smooched Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera on the VMAs, posed in sexual positions with women in her book Sex, and is reported to have had a relationship with Naomi Campbell. Her most notable and strange fauxmosexual period was when she gal-pal’ed it around town with comedian Sandra Bernhard. For a period the two were inseparable. They dressed alike, performed together, slapped each other and alluded to what they'd get up to behind closed doors.

Why she’s faked it: Madonna loves attention and throughout her career she has flirted with lesbianism to shock, but primarily to sell records.

Will she ever go back to loving ladies? Now that Madonna is single and celesbianism is all the rage, the odds are she’ll find a gal pal to hang out with and help promote her latest whatever.

8. Angelina Jolie

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Her Sapphic Tale: Angelina Jolie had a sexual relationship with her Foxfire co-star Jenny Shimizu in 1996. She labels herself bisexual and when asked about it in 2003 she told the New York Daily News "If I fell in love with a woman tomorrow, would I feel that it's okay to want to kiss and touch her? If I fell in love with her? Absolutely! Yes!"

Why she’s faked it: Her statements regarding bisexuality are in keeping with her then bad girl image, feeding into her image as being sexually liberated and to please her male fans. Since her affair with Shimizu, Angelina has not had any documented relationships with women. In that time she has been married twice (to men) and is now shacked up with Brad Pitt making/adopting babies.

Will she ever go back to loving ladies? Angelina hasn’t ruled it out, which means there is hope. Hope is all anyone needs!

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7. Jess Origliasso

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Her Sapphic Tale: Jess Origliasso, of the twin sister Australian pop group The Veronicas, is currently in a relationship with model and Australian MTV VJ Ruby Rose. The Australian media reports that the two are “genuinely keen on one another.” Rose, who came-out at age 12  says that the two are just great mates. Indeed.

Why she’s faked it
: Celesbianism is a new trend in Hollywood, but when you live all the way Down Under you need to do whatever it takes to get attention. Jess is the Aussie version of Lindsay Lohan. Before Rose she dated dudes like Ryan Cabrera and an Australian Idol contestant - which actually may be why she turned to women.

Will she ever go back to loving lads? Yes. Once the fauxmosexual craze is over, she’ll be back to blokes in a heartbeat.

6. Britney Spears

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Her Sapphic Tale: Britney got used and abused by the Madonna shock and awe machine. Her only notable and brief flirtation with lady-love was when she locked lips with Madonna at the 2003 MTV VMAs.

Why she’s faked it
: She was hoping some of Madonna’s career lasting fairy dust/voodoo devil curse would rub off on her. Sadly, it heralded her decline.

Will she ever go back to loving ladies? Highly unlikely. Britney never really loved the ladies in the first place. That said, now that she’s back Madonna will try and kiss her again.

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5. Megan Fox

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Her Sapphic Tale:  Megan Fox recently told GQ magazine that she was madly in love with a Russian stripper named Nikita when she first moved to Los Angeles. Megan and her Russian pal would listen to Aerosmith ballads and slow dance together. Megan says she tried to talk Nikita out of stripping by showering her with gifts. She also told GQ "Look, I'm not a lesbian. I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl — Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She's mesmerizing. And lately I've been obsessed with Jenna Jameson, but ... oh boy."

Why she’s faked it: Megan had a movie coming out called How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, that lacked buzz and needed some attention, which is what it got. Honestly, her story sounds cliché and totally fabricated.

Will she ever go back to loving ladies?
Megan will probably pull out another sapphic story when she’s promoting some crappy film. Next time, she should hire better writers.

4. t.A.T.u

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Her Sapphic Tale: t.A.T.u’s name is derived from the Russian phrase "Ta lyubit Tu" which means “She loves her” and the girls totally lived up to their name. In their music video for  All the Things She Said the the girls, Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova are dressed in school uniforms and constantly make-out with each other in the rain. It was totally hot.

Why they faked it: In 2003 the girls came clean and revealed in the documentary Anatomy of t.A.T.u that they weren’t lesbians and it was just part of the groups image created by their record label. 

Will she ever go back to loving ladies?
Here’s hoping!! These girls were popular for one single reason and it wasn’t their music.

3.Katy Perry

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Her Sapphic Tale: Katy Perry apparently kissed a girl, liked it and wrote a song about it that became a huge hit. It wasn’t planned. It was not her intention. She was drinking and curious. She felt it was wrong but she also felt it was right. She wants to be clear - it does not mean she’s in love.

Why she’s faked it: Katy Perry, born Katheryn Hudson to two pastors, grew up listening to gospel music and had to sex up her image after she was dropped numerous times by record companies early in her career.

Will she ever go back to loving ladies? It’s hard to go back, when you were never really there. Katy should put her money where her mouth is and actually start kissing lots of girls.

2. Tila Tequila

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Her Sapphic Tale:  Tila Tequila may be the most popular person on Myspace, but she really hit the big time when her reality shows A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila debut on MTV. In the show 16 guys and 16 girls vie for Tila’s love, with the twist being that none of the contestant were aware of Tila’s bisexuality. Since then Tila has been making out with girls like crazy.

Why she’s faked it
: Without the lesbian component, Tila’s show would have just been another boring, bland and banal dating reality show. It was still all that, but it had girl-on-girl action!

Will she ever go back to loving lads? If she appears in Shot at Love 3, then it’s a no. If she doesn’t return to the series as the bachelorette, then probably.

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1. Lindsay Lohan

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Her Sapphic Tale: Is Lindsay Lohan’s dating English lady DJ Samantha Ronson? It certainly seems that way and the tabloids can’t get enough of it. The girls have been photographed seen holding hands, frolicking on the beach in Mexico and making-out. Lohan seemed to confirm the relationship on the nationally syndicated radio program Loveline back in September. DJ Stryker asked Lindsay "You and Samantha, have been going out for how long now?...Like two years, one year, five months, two months?" to which Lohan laughed, and replied "For a very long time." Stryker then went on to say "Well, I hope you guys stay together. You are a very lovely looking couple." to which Lohan replied "Thank you very much."

Why she’s faked it: Lindsay was spiraling out of control before Samantha. Since they’ve hooked up Lindsay has cleaned up her act and gotten back to work – so it’s possible that this is real. On the other hand, Samantha looks like a dude – so confusion is to be expected.


Will she ever go back to loving lads? Lindsay will eventually return to the male species, but the question is – How long will it take? With speculation rising that she’ll marry Ronson, it could be a long wait fellas.

 

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