Women Who Hate Women Shockingly Go For D-Bags

August 25, 2011

It's endlessly debated by feminists, but held as an article of truth for guys: chicks dig jerks. But we may need to revise it a bit to read: "Chicks who hate themselves and other women dig jerks." Which, come to think of it, makes a lot more sense.

Yes, science has unlocked the secret behind that ridiculous dweeb mystery and his ability to somehow get laid despite looking like a hobo Muppet: the women who fall for his garbage hate themselves so much they're willing to sleep with him. How'd science prove it? Surveys!

Basically, the researchers went among college students, their favorite subject, and had them fill out a series of agree/disagree questions about gender issues. Then they totalled up the numbers and found, surprise surprise, the women who didn't like themselves tended to go for the guys who view them as sex dolls you have to buy dinner for. Unfortunately, that also meant a higher incidence of sexual assault.

The women who didn't, on the other hand, had a higher incidence of laughing at PUAs and/or kneeing them in the groin.

What can we take away from this? Mostly that women need to respect themselves and their gender more. Not because of any sort of touchy-feely crap, but because we're really tired of seeing some divorced guy in his 40s in a funny hat at the bar trying to insult coeds into sleeping with him. The sooner this guy learns it's not going to work, the happier we'll be as a species.

Photo: Joos Mind/Stone/Getty Images