Ok, bro! So here is why I hate visiting my parents, bro. They don't get that I'm a broman. They're all like "Why do you say 'bro'?", and "Why do you have so many muscles?" and "Why are you so tan?" and "Isn't it hard to wrestle with all those hot babes chasing you?"
My dad thinks it's weird that I get pedicures and shave my body. He doesn't even get that my shoes, belt and watch have to match, bro! If he wasn't my pops he'd be a total hamster. My parents are chill sometimes but they can totally be nags. Here are the top 5 reasons why, bro.
5 - Aces and Eights
- My mom watches IMPACT WRESTLING every Thursday on Spike TV and is worried that every week Aces and Eights are gonna attack me. Doesn't she know that they are scared of The Bromans? Plus, deep down I know that Bully Ray knows his girlfriend wants me bro. So he wouldn't even try.
4 - ODB
- For some reason my parents love ODB. Like, they love her. My dad even wrote her a letter asking for an autograph, but I don't think she can spell "ODB", bro. Still, they think she is the best Knockout and they want me to date her, bro! Are you kidding? Date a girl from a trailer park?What are they thinking? She would't survive at the clubs I go to. I'd look dumb..
3 - Hulk Hogan
- I am not bringing Hulk Hogan to visit or to eat dinner with us! I get it. They love him, but, bro. That guy isn't coming to my family's house. He won't even put me on IMPACT WRESTLING, bro!
2 - Having a Match
- I know you were an athlete in high school, dad. And I know you still got it and are in great shape. And I know you got awesome genetics (because I do, bro). But, bro. I'm not getting you a shot at the X Division title, bro. If I had that kind of stroke I'd get a shot for myself first. Come at me when I'm champ, dad.
1 - New Bromen
-No, I am not leaving my partner Jessie Godderz and teaming with Eric Young or Joseph Park. My parents think that they are the real Bromans. What is up with that, bro? The worst.
Until next week…Ohhhh…This was my broman blog, bro.
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Image credit: TNA Entertainment