How to Have More Confidence

October 20, 2010

Science has already proven that the brain does not know the difference between what is vividly imagined and reality. If we experience only a fraction of what is possible in terms of the stimuli that we notice or pay attention to, and our experiences are directly influenced by what we value, believe and expect, then it follows that by changing what is happening in our mind we can actually change our entire reality.

If you act as though you are courageous, then you will be courageous. If you act as though you are confident and take on the persona of someone who is confident, then you become confident immediately. Because our mind has such a profound influence on our external experience, adopting and making beneficial emotional states a regular habit is the first step to truly mastering your life. These characteristics or personal attributes are emotional states, not future outcomes or goals, and as such they can be achieved immediately.  Think about it – are you not already living the life that you imagine in your mind every day?  

All that we are and have experienced to date is a result of what we have imagined to be true in our minds. If we are unhappy with the results, our experience can be changed as quickly as we can change our minds and imagine a new meaning.

It is a bit like role-playing. We all have certain roles that we play in our lives. They may be wife, mother, co-worker, friend or student. Each role has unwritten and unspecified parameters – set by you and often by society’s expectations of those roles.

They act as an invisible costume that we slip in and out of depending on what is required of us. Some of us have very well developed role of ‘victim’, for example. Or perhaps we slip easily into the role of ‘caregiver’ or ‘fighter’. These roles also influence how we engage with the world around us.

We each have the choice each day as to which part we will play and which costume we will wear. Many of us play the same role every day without stopping to question why? Those roles can be neither inspiring nor exciting and yet we accept them as a fait accompli. In many ways it reminds me of the little child who is relegated to the supporting role of ‘tree’ or ‘flower’ in the primary school play. We all know the one – he stands in the corner with the ridiculous costume on but is never given the chance to speak or sing with the others. That child is on stage with the rest of the class but never really has the chance to shine or take centre stage – to play the lead character and command the attention and applause of an adoring audience.

Eventually that child grows up but has become so accustomed to playing the supporting role that he does not realise the limitless possibilities available to him – successful entrepreneur, loving father, skilful public speaker, leader in the community etc. He is 30 years old and still getting up each and every day to put on his ‘tree’ costume and stand on the sidelines of his own life. The school play is long over yet he is still living the life he imagined in his head when he was a little boy.

Fortunately, it’s never too late to create some new empowering roles for yourself that allow you to slip on the mental costume of courage, determination, unbridled enthusiasm or whatever personality trait or emotional state that you most want to incorporate into your life.

Each and every day when we wake up, we all have the choice of which lenses, attire or uniform to put on. The choice has always been yours and the possibilities are infinite. Today is a brand new day – you can choose to embody characteristics and personality traits that empower you and move you closer to your goals or you can chose to adopt a persona of negativity and pessimism. Your mind doesn’t know the difference between reality and what you vividly imagine so why not chose something that’s going to make your life richer, happier and more fulfilling?

It’s time to cast aside your ‘tree’ costume … you won’t need that anymore. You can be anything that you choose to imagine right now. Fake it until you make it! Trust me, it will be a short trip.

For more information on how to manage emotional states and live the life of your dreams, I recommend On The Shoulders of Giants.  This simple, straightforward book will guide you easily through the process of making lasting changes in your life.  It explains the concepts (that were first introduced the The Secret or the Law of Attraction) in plain English with plenty of scientific proof and research to back it up. 

For those of you who have already read the book, I highly recommend that you take the second step now and listen to the Imagineering Your Destiny audio series.  This relaxing and ground breaking audio program will allow you to move beyond perceived limitations of the past and instill some powerful beliefs, attitudes and habits that will accelerate your success.  It is a groundbreaking program which helps you to re-write negative conditioning from the past and develop a positive self image.