The Nine Plots TV Shows Need To Stop Doing

June 17, 2011
It's a common complaint: television is unoriginal. This is a complicated problem, created by a mixture of the conservative nature of big media conglomerates and the overwhelming desire of the viewers for comfort food-type TV instead of real, challenging writing. What isn't complicated is when TV writers can't even be bothered to write a plot, instead just taking one wholesale, especially, for some reason, around Christmas.

9. Die Hard on a TV Show

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We're pretty sure that if Charles Dickens could see what would have been done to his story, he would have torched it before it ever saw print.

Forget TV shows beating a dead horse, by the time TV got its hands on it, the horse had been curb-stomped, lit on fire, and used as a bathroom by transients. But TV got started in 1944 and it...hasn't...stopped since.

Seriously, this is so bad that The Simpsons did a gag where Homer clicks through a dozen versions of it and all of them except the Star Trek one are shows that actually ripped off this plot. Xena did it. The Six Million Dollar Man has done it. Every damn TV show has done this plot!

Although it does serve one purpose: since these crappy ripoffs start running at the end of October, we can't be allowed to forget Christmas is coming, and by Thanksgiving we're drunken, surly, and hostile: the ideal Christmas spirit.