10,000 Ways To Die. # 1002: Grilled Phil

September 26, 2010

This is a made up death; any names, dates, etc., are made up by the writer.

Date: July, 04, 2000.

Location: Scottsdale, Arizona.

Narrator: Today was the Fourth of July, people do dumb or crazy stuff. However, we see this guy, Philip Stone. His Rottweiler, Rowly, was very anxious and fast. Philip had Rowly only because his movement kept the man with ADHD focus. However, to not bother his friends on America's Birthday, he tied Rowly to Philip's 264 pound grill.

Philip: Hey Rowly, calm down. Here's a hot dog, go fetch!

Narrator: Wierd enough, the dog went after the dog, but since he could run at 20 miles per hour, plus his weight of 210 pounds, we get 4200 pounds of force. And with that, Rowdy pulled down the grill, onto the body of Phil.

Philip's Friends: Holy Sh*t! Turn it off! Call 9-1-1! We have to grill off of him! F*ck!

Narrator: After six minutes of being squashed by the burning hot, fire blazing, grill, Philip's friends found him burned to a crisp.

Dr. Armand Dorian as Medical Response: Well, we see here what we would see if a guy was hit by a flamethrower, not only will the skin burn, but the blood boils, and then with the grill also pessing on his face, his brain would be... well, let's say, goo.