Movie Monsters to Battle Brock Lesnar

November 25, 2008

With Brock Lesnar's recent dethroning of Randy Couture as UFC Heavyweight Champion, he is poised to create some serious problems for the rest of his division (at least the human portion of it). With this in mind, we thought we'd put together a list of a few movie monsters that would make good opponents for the champ.

Alien and Predator


Since their horrifying creations, Alien and Predator have ranked high amongst the baddest movie monsters of all time, but recently fell way down in the power rankings after teaming up to make AVP: Alien vs. Predator, one of the dumbest movies in the history of the world. Due to their updated status as mediocre movie monsters, they'll be allowed to double-up on Lesnar in order to make it a fair fight.

Rancor (Jabba the Hutt's pet monster from Episode VI)


A formidable opponent is Rancor. If you recall, he was trouble for Luke Skywalker and we think he presents interesting challenges for Lesnar. He's big and he's strong, but he's not very fast or mobile, and he seems pretty dumb. He's also got very long arms. We know that Brock has the strength, but it's important to note that he's very fast and he's also a quick learner. Add all these elements together and I think we'll see Lesnar take his first victory via submission (armbar) in the second round.

The Terminator


This is a solid matchup in our eyes as we suspect that Brock Lesnar is a Terminator sent back in time to destroy Vince McMahon. First, though, it's important to decipher which Terminator he is, as the distinction would make very different matchups.

We do not believe that Brock is the more advanced T-1000, which is good because it has been determined with some certainty that the only way to stop the T-1000 is by melting it. Of course, molten metal is not allowed inside the Octagon. A matchup between two T-1000s would result in a perpetual battle of two essentially indestructible machines. It would be an entertaining fight, at first, but eventually we would get bored.

No. We believe that Brock is the original T-800 and would like to see him face off against another machine of the same type. Imagine the fireworks.



This is an interesting matchup, as it takes Brock out of his element and most people might think that Jaws has the immediate upper-hand, but we see it differently. Jaws' tools are very limited. All he really has is his bite. Lesnar could run a boxing clinic on the giant fish, as long as he can stay away from the teeth. Also, Jaws' size would be a severe disadvantage; the constraints of the cage would limit his mobility considerably. We're gonna need a bigger Octagon.