Canadians Are Even More Awesome Than Previously Assumed

April 12, 2010

In America, when popular athletes are accused of a crime, they usually don't have to bother going to trial or apologizing to their victims. Up north, however, sports stars occasionally have to face judges that aren’t afraid to verbally humiliate them in front of a crowded courtroom.

Chris Doyle, a not-so-friendly Canadian hockey player who accidentally punched his girlfriend in the face, has been standing trial for assault over the past year.

According to reports, after a night of heavy drinking, the New York Rangers draft pick tried to smash open his ex-girlfriend's front door. (Possibly because he had baked her cookies and wanted to talk about his feelings.)

While doing so, the door unexpectedly connected with her face (oops)!

Sadly, since it was technically unintentional the court could not find Doyle guilty of aggravated assault or any other “beating women is probably wrong”-related charges.

That didn’t stop the judge from offering his opinion, though.

"If he was charged with being a colossal a**hole, I would find him guilty," said John Douglas, chief judge of the provincial court. "Of assault causing bodily harm, I find him not guilty."

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