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The Top Seven Unintentionally Homoerotic Action Movies

by TheJeffKelly   August 12, 2010 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 11,746

Let's face it, there are about two substantial reason why men love to go see action and buddy films. We like watching dudes bust each others balls, and we like to watch things get blowed up real good. That's about the extent of it. However, sometimes we get more than we bargained for, and suddenly we're watching two highly trained fighter pilots squaring off against each wearing nothing but towels in a locker room filled with big, sweaty men. And for the most part, we have to assume that the sudden sexual tension is not quite what the director was going for.

Source: Paramount Pictures

By Jeff Kelly

 

7. Top Gun

Now we know, we know, it's blasphemy to call out Top Gun, a.k.a. one of the ultimate "guy movies" of the 1980s, as being homoerotic. After all, here you've got a movie about a bunch of cocky fighter pilots who, when they aren't going on about their incessant need for traveling at a high velocity are trolling bars looking to pick up women. Oh, and they're also playing beach volleyball. Half naked, oiled up, slow motion beach volleyball.

Can you honestly tell us that you never watched that scene and questioned, even for a moment, whether or not there was a deep-seated attraction between Maverick and Iceman, particularly after their heated exchanges in the locker room? Hell, Val Kilmer himself hinted at the sexual tension when, while doing press for the movie Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, was asked if he had ever played a gay character before. His response? "You mean other than Top Gun?"

 

6. 2 Fast 2 Furious

Source: Universal Pictures

In reality, you could probably pick any of the films from this storied "franchise" and point to a plethora of moments where it looked like, deep down, Paul Walker just wanted to kiss his male costar. In the first film he developed such a huge crush on Vin Diesel (and who can blame him) that he actually gave the dude a car and threw his career away for the man.

But it's not until we see him interact with Tyrese in the second film that the homoeroticism explodes to whole new levels. When Walker and Tyrese first see each other, they wind up rolling around on the ground in a "fight" that basically consists of them wrapping their legs around each other for awhile. Later, Walker is checking out the booty of the lovely Eva Mendes and Tyrese, other than joining in the ogling, actually seems jealous and calls him out on it, asking why he was checking her out. And just as mindboggling, Walker denies it, making them seem less like two old friends than a pair who suffered a nasty breakup.

 

5. Point Break

Source: 20th Century Fox

First of all, Point Break is one of the greatest "guilty pleasure" movies of all time, to the point where we're pretty sure someone in the comments will declare it's not a guilty pleasure at all, it's just a high quality film directed by a smokin' hot 60-year-old Oscar winner (Kathryn Bigelow). Secondly, it has to be pointed out that everything said about the Fast and the Furious series follows here, since those films are very clearly cheap knockoffs of this surfing classic.

Johnny Utah is sent undercover to infiltrate and take down a bank robbing surfer gang, and within a matter of minutes, it seems, he's so enamored of Bodhi that he cares less about doing his, you know, job than he does about making sure that the Zen master surf god likes him. Everything comes to a head when, in the words of Nick Frost in the movie Hot Fuzz, Utah loves Bodhi so much that he just can't pull the trigger (literally), and he ultimately quits his job at the FBI rather than take his very close friend into custody.

 

4. Rocky III

Source: MGM/UA

One of the two movies on this list that heavily relies on the idea that oiled up, sweaty men working out and fighting together, Rocky III for the most part is not as overtly homoerotic as some of the other films on this list. However, that's most definitely not to say there are no homoerotic undertones throughout the film as it explores the relationship between Rocky and Apollo Creed. And if you think we're wrong, we're betting you still know exactly what scene we are about to talk about. And in a way, doesn't that make said scene homoerotic enough to warrant discussion about how unintentionally homoerotic it is?

Anyway, as Apollo is helping Rocky prepare for a rematch with Mr. T, the pair wind up on a beach in California, wearing tight, short shorts, gazing at each other with the sexual tension filling the air and, after the finish racing each other, they engage in an embrace by the ocean (quite the romantic setting, by the way) that hangs on just a little too long, smushing their oiled up selves together in a very, very friendly way in the process.

 

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