There are a lot of sequels that should have been made but probably never will, due to the slings and arrows of outrageous(ly bad) fortune. This isn’t to say that there’s no hope whatsoever of these movies being made, only that as of right now the odds are better that a velociraptor will bite you in the ass. But that doesn't stop us from dreaming.
By Nathan Bloch
The following article does not represent the opinions of Spike TV or its affiliates.
7. Animal House II (Alternate Title: "Animal House: Crazy House")
I mean, come on. Animal House was so funny and so perfectly aimless and so irreverent, and it single-handedly created a subgenre of comedy film: the college comedy. Because of Animal House, we have greats such as Old School and Road Trip and PCU and Slackers and, well, you get the point. Due to the untimely death of John Belushi there really wasn’t any point in making a sequel, though they did make a television series out of it, for what that’s worth. Anyone who doesn’t wish a sequel had been made before Belushi died is, to quote a Neidermeyer better than myself, worthless and weak.
6. Jurassic Park 4
This was a solid franchise until they screwed it up with Jurassic Park 3. But franchises have continued after sustaining more than one disastrous sequel (cough, Aliens 3, cough cough, Aliens 4). Jurassic Park 4 deserves a chance.
Would Spielberg direct? Highly unlikely. That doesn’t mean there aren’t dozens of qualified candidates for the job – maybe even the Frenchman who directed the latest Hulk movie. He does an okay job with huge CG creatures. And there’s even a rumor floating around that Laura Dern is down to party, though if they’re thinking of releasing in 2009, which I heard was possible, then they’d need to be done with production by…yesterday. So things don’t look real good for this being in theaters any time soon.
5. The Abyss II (Alternate Title: "The Abyss: It's Even Deeper")
The Abyss kind of tanked at the box office. Yes. Pun intended. BUT it was a great movie, and audiences realized this once it was released to video. You won’t meet many people who say they don’t love the movie, though you will meet a lot of people who haven’t seen it at all.
Well, let’s do another one! Get James Cameron back, get Ed Harris – let’s even get that weirdo with the rat! This could be Cameron’s atonement for bringing Titanic into the world and sinking it all over again. Deep, dark water, aliens and red necks? Now that’s what I call a movie. I want more.
4. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off 2 (Alternate Title: "Ferris Bueller's Term Off")
This falls under the category of movie that can’t really be made since Matthew Broderick had to go and get older. And marry Sarah Jessica Parker, which can’t necessarily be forgiven, even if it can be explained…somehow… This could only work if Broderick was now the father and had a trouble-making, but endearingly affable, son who was up to the same hijinks as Ferris was in the '80s.
After writing that it becomes clear to me just how repugnant such an idea would be. But it sure would have been nice if they’d followed up with a sequel in 1990. Ferris could have been about to graduate college, but the dean was trying to expel him for too many incompletes on his transcript. Or something like that. It could have been great. Unfortunately for mankind, there’s a much better chance of a Sex and the City VIII than a Ferris Bueller’s Day Off II.
3. Back to the Future IV
Marty McFly and Emmett Brown’s story is completed by the end of Back to the Future III, but not in a very satisfying way. And there are some major issues that don’t even begin to be addressed, such as how in hell Doc put together a flying train...with technology from the 19th century.
Michael J. Fox’s health would be a major obstacle to making a fourth film, and I’m of the opinion that if it can’t be done with Fox it shouldn’t be done at all. So Back to the Future IV is most likely not going to be a reality. But if it could be, would Marty and Doc go into the future or the past? Would they take the DeLorean or the flying locomotive? Either way, I would be the first in line to get my ticket.
2. The Graduate 2 (Alternate Title: "The Graduated")
Every film buff and filmmaker lists The Graduate on their top 10 favorite films list. The makers of the film – director Mike Nichols and star Dustin Hoffman – discussed at one point making a sequel to it, but alas, ‘twas not to be.
I think everyone who’s watched the film has wondered what happens when they get off the bus. Do they get into a screaming fight before they even get to their stop? Do they get married and have kids, and then Elaine seduces the son of Ben’s best friend and business partner? Or maybe Ben seduces the daughter of Elaine’s best friend and business partner… There are so many perverted ways the sequel could go, but I don’t think we’ll ever get to know what happens to Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin Braddock – assuming they ever got married at all.
1. Close Encounters of the Third Kind II (Alternate Title: "Even Closer Encounters of the Third Kind")
This movie can still be made. And it should. What was the point of making the best UFO movie of all bloody time if Spielberg had no intention of following it up with a second? Instead we got E.T., a kind of alien analgesic to the terrifying malevolence of the beings from Close Encounters.
What happens when Roy gets on the ship? Where does he go? What do the aliens teach him, and what does he teach them? Do they do freaky tests on him? Does he agree to all of their demands? Do they let him fly the ship? Does he have alien sex with the alien queen and start a nasty little alien family?
These are questions people have been waiting for answers to for over thirty years. The extended edition of the movie gave us a little clue as to what Roy's life was going to be like. But if Spielberg made Close Encounters II, there’s also a possibility he’d be forgiven some of his directorial floundering of the past decade. Time to get back to your roots, Stevie.