Over the weekend, two “girls” on The University of Missouri women’s basketball team demonstrated the progressive nature of their school (which some claim is the Berkeley of the Big XII) by challenging gender stereotypes in a humiliating assault that police offers are saying is "a sobering reminder why aggressively forcing your son to play football - no matter how much he hates it - is excellent parenting."
After a big win over the fictitious-sounding Texas Pan American University, the Missouri Tigers’ two leading scorers (Amanda Hanneman and Jessra Johnson), threw a small party at their apartment complex to celebrate. Though it’s unclear whether the standard issue “hookers and blow” format made popular in the NFL was used for the festivities, there was enough loud music coming from the bash to bother a 21-year-old male member of the school's cheerleading squad, who asked them to turn it down a tad.
Understandably, one of the players dealt with his request by punching him in the face, leading to a brawl that ended in several black eyes, two indefinite suspensions for the players involved, and the loss of one “man card” for the cheerleader who has to watch every police officer and court reporter try to contain their laughter while he tells the story.
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