Shocking Report Reveals That Athletes Get Laid a Lot

April 16, 2010

In a recent interview that further crushed the spirit of engineering students and voyeuristic professors with two divorces and an extensive “Why Suicide isn’t the Answer” book collection, Florida Gators shooting guard Ray Shipman explains that being really good at sports is still the best way to tap some a** in college.

Shipman, a former top recruit who played for the Gators, details what life is like as a mediocre basketball player at an athletic NCAA powerhouse.

Here’s some of his words of wisdom:

“Girls see an athlete who is tall and dresses nice, and they like that type of stuff. Most of the time, girls come to me.”

“A lot of the older players show you around. If my teammate is with a girl and it’s not really serious, they end up switching to me,” he said. “And now that I’m older, I introduce them to the new players. Some teammates of mine, some other athletes, they don’t really care [that girls hook up with other players]. That’s not my type. That’s nasty. But some freshman [players], they’ll hop right on it.”

“A girl will hit you up when they see you’re coming to town. They’ll try to come to your hotel room,”

“Girls get reps,” he said. “Sometimes I feel sorry for girls because they don’t know it.”

”The Caucasian girls tend to notice the basketball players more,” he said. “The African-American girls don’t really know if you score or not,” Shipman said. “They go on the basis of ‘He’s an athlete. He’s attractive.’ But then the better you get, they start noticing. It’s a big difference.”

“Some girls don’t even care what you do, as along as you’re an athlete. They don’t care how many points you score,”

I’ve never actually seen this guy play, but judging by those comments I can safely say he has serious NBA potential.

Photo:Creative/Getty Images

Note: The photos in this article are being used for illustrative purposes only; any person depicted in the photos is a model.