The Top 7 Vehicular Chick Magnets

November 24, 2008

Girls will swear up and down that a car has no effect on them whatsoever when it comes to who they're attracted to. Like many of you out there, I can tell you from firsthand experience that this is a line of B.S. Looking to even your odds of landing a fine woman? These rides might just take that passing glance and turn it into a longing stare.

7.  Toyota Prius


I know, I know. But stay with me here. There's no way to avoid the fact that "green culture," and specifically hybrid cars, are really trendy right now. And the same chicks who were scamming the guys "rolling on dubs" five years ago may end up being the women who're suddenly concerned with the environment, and admire your forward-thinking car buying skills.

On the other hand, you'll probably want to stock up on granola and aroma therapy candles, just in case you end up snagging a "true believer":


Of course, if you do end up going the Prius route, it would be wise to not have any interest in cars in general, because driving one of these is about as appealing as watching Rosie O'Donnell drop a deuce.

6. Cadillac Escalade


On the opposite end of the spectrum, rollin' huge is still relatively cool, even though you can get 4 door sedans with 20s from the factory these days. But SUVs like the Escalade are still pretty swank anyway. They glide down the street with presence and authority, and I challenge you to find a girl who doesn't dig that. And with ample interior room, these things are tailor-made for gettin' down.

Savor the moment though - these things are a dying breed now, and it's doubtful we'll see big, truck-based pimpmobiles with thirsty V8s coming out of auto factories much longer. So hit da club while you can.

5. Nissan GT-R


As far as Japanese tuner cars go, this is definitely the new king of the hill. While Nissan went to great strides to prevent people from tampering with their new masterpiece, there is no doubt that people will find ways around those measures in order to customize these things to taste (or lack thereof).

Of course, where tuners go, tuner chicks are soon to follow. Though the import trend really hit its apex around 2001 or so, there's till plenty of fetching birds lurking around this scene.

If you pull up to a clandestine drifting competition in Nissan's new hotness, not only will you be envied by others (tuners and speed junkies alike) you may very well score a chick much hotter than you should. But that's mainly because she'll assume you're wealthier than you actually are. Little does she know this thing costs less than an M-series BMW. You clever guy, you. Just don't use the launch control.

4. Lifted F-series Ford Truck


This could be a Southern California phenomenon, but even if it is, it's worth trying elsewhere. Buy a 2x4 Ford pickup and immediately buy the biggest lift kit you can buy, followed by the biggest set of wheels and tires you can find. But whatever you do, DO NOT go offroad with it, because you may scratch the paint. Instead, wax the living hell out of it.

With this formula, getting the platinum blondes who can barely read will be ostensibly effortless. I know, it seems weird, but these girls seem to love guys who have trucks that require a free-fall dismount whenever you need to get out. On the plus side, since it's difficult to get out these trucks, they're more likely to just stay put when you park. Sort of like Jedi mind tricks, but with Mickey Thompson Mud Terrains instead of The Force.

And, with any luck, you'll find yourself in a classy situation similar to this one:


If, ya know, that's yer thing.

3. Chopped Early 50s Mercury Coupe


If you pull up in an early 50s chopped Merc, it is pretty much guaranteed you will be the coolest guy within a 15 mile radius. The sex appeal of these cars is unmistakable, and the simplistic, yet somehow road warrior-style approach to aesthetics gives off an aura of nonchalant badassness that money just can't buy.

Show up a local car show in a properly done sled, and very soon you may find something like this riding shotgun:


Time to learn how to weld.

2. Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead


When you simply have more money than you know what to do with, you buy a Rolls Royce Phantom, with a price tag well over $300,000. When that's just not good enough, you buy a Phanton Drophead for even more.

What do you get for that kind of scratch? A car built with by the world's finest designers in the most advanced factories using the finest materials known to mankind. They spent a million bucks developing the ashtray. Seriously.

Beyond the quality of the Rolls, it is a disarmingly massive car with a built-in level of confidence which assures you a pretty good shot with just about any woman who happens to have very expensive taste and a desire to be seen, be it a princess in Dubai or movie star on the Sunset Strip. Just don't go crazy on the options list, cuz this chick isn't going to settle for a dinner at Sizzler.


1. Ford GT


I have heard from multiple women that this is, in fact, the sexiest car on the road today, and I certainly don't have a beef with that. Who could argue? It's drop dead gorgeous, insanely fast, rare, and has one of the most intoxicating exhaust notes ever. But the GT is also versatile!

Supermodels, rapper's girlfriends, gearhead chicks, porn stars - whatever, I dare you to find a type of girl who wouldn't shiver will anticipation at the offer of a ride in one of these. Even the staunchest enviro-nazi chick will disarmed by this car. That is the power of great design, mated with brutal power. That is the power of sex appeal.

Other countries may make fancier cars, or faster ones, or more technologically advanced ones, but only we make the Ford GT.

And for that, the world owes us one.