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TIME: The Kalief Browder Story: The System

The 10 Least Appetizing Theme Restaurants

by DannyGallagher   May 11, 2011 at 10:00PM  |  Views: 3,755

5. Modern Toilet

Source: Peter Dazeley/Photographer's Choice/Getty Images

Guys know that some of the world's best thinking has been done on the throne. Clearly, this restaurant concept wasn't conceived on the toilet.

This Taiwanese restaurant actually uses the bathroom as its muse as it serves up every dish in a tiny "Tidy Bowl" and even makes its patrons sit on a dining room toilet whether they are in the bathroom or the dining room. The place is even decorated from top to (pardon the expression) bottom with plastic piles of poop. It also doesn't hit you too hard in your wallet since you probably won't feel like eating much.

4. Masoch-Cafe

Source: Andreas Schlegel/Getty Images

If you like to dine a bit on the wild side, then this place will make you long for the hardcore cuisine and atmosphere of an oatmeal-themed diner.

Ukraine is home to this restaurant that pays homage to Lviv-born writer Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch, which doesn't sound so bad until you realize that he coined the term "masochism." The entire place is adorned with all sorts of twisted sexual goodies and the menu is loaded with images of the most depraved pornography the human mind can muster. That may not sound so bad until your food arrives and it's sweet pepper bull's testicles. Or at least that's what they call them since that guy who doesn't tip stopped coming around for dinner (wink, wink).

3. Nyotaimori

Source: Jenni Holma/Flickr/Getty Images

Have you or your dinner companion ever enjoyed a meal and thought, "Man that was good, but I'm not nearly as traumatized as I hoped I would be"?

Then get ready to open wide for this Japanese themed eatery that turns the female human body into an object more than your friendly neighborhood strip club. It not only serves sushi on real naked women, but its specialty is serving a giant meal in a fully recreated dead woman and the only way to get to her creamy center is to cut her open with autopsy-themed silverware. It's exactly the kind of restaurant that Jeffrey Dahmer would like if he had had no class or sense of style and good taste.

2. Banana Restaurant

Source: Anthony Bradshaw/Photographer's Choice/Getty Images

Just about every restaurant date is about one thing: buying a huge meal in the hopes that it leads to sex. But then you have to pay the check, get in the car, and stop and buy condoms in some sterile, embarrassing environment where everyone in a 10-mile radius is just gawking at you. If only the restaurant could incorporate that humiliation into its menu and save you some gas.

This Taiwanese restaurant has done just that. Condoms don't just adorn every square inch of the place, but they're also incorporated into the dishes, drinks, and even the ambiance of the place. That's because it's the first restaurant to partner with the nation's Center for Disease Control to promote safe sex and prevent the spread of STDs. It's also the only restaurant where finding a condom in your food doesn't lead to a costly civil lawsuit.

1. Guo-li-zhuang

Of course, what good is a rubber if there's nothing to fill it?

This Chinese restaurant can fill your appetite...as long as it's for penis. That's right, its entire menu consists of the tallywackers and schwing-schwongs of the entire known animal kingdom. They also cater to high-ranking officials and businessmen, which makes their penchant for chomping on giant phallic cigars less amusing by comparison. Here you can order everything from water buffalo to deer and even dog, cooked to order and served with a light sprig of parsley and other vegetables. Just don't let it get cold.