Exorcists Very Concerned About Twilight

July 18, 2011

You know how every single job, no matter what it is, has some sort of conference or convention? Even gas jockeys? Apparently, exorcists have one too...and they're very, very worried about the spread of vampirism. Or maybe they just hate Twilight.

The conference, held at Poland's Jasna Gora monastery, sounds really awesome, but is really just a bunch of old priests sitting around talking about how to sort somebody possessed by a demon out from somebody who, say, hasn't been taking their Lithium lately. But of particular concern to these holy men is "the current fashion for vampirism in Europe and the world-over".

In years past, this would mean something awesome, like death metal or a good vampire movie catching on. Unfortunately, it's a roundabout way of saying "Twilight annoys the crap out of us too." Or maybe, "we're really concerned that now straight guys have to wear glitter to get a girl in the sack". Not that the Catholic Church has been silent on the topic, but once their equivalent of Navy SEALs starts taking it seriously, you know that a stupid fad has gone too far.

Note to the exorcists: You also might want to point out to the "Twilight moms" that they're just being creepy. They don't need an exorcism; just a grown adult to say something.

Photo: Diane Collins and Jordan Hollender/Photodisc/Getty Images