The Top 10 Biggest Sore Losers in Sports

by davidbreitman   March 31, 2010 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 4,358

There are two types of people in this world. Those who can handle losing with a little class and dignity and others that cheer for the Chicago Cubs. As Jesus Christ and the bully who used to take my lunch money used to say, "no two losers are created equal." Here's a list of 10 athletes, coaches, and owners who handle defeat in their own special ways.

Photo: Tornten Blackwood/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

 

10. Serena Williams (Because You Can't Spell "Dominance" Without the Words "I'm," "A," or "Man")

Photo: Tornten Blackwood/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

Blessed with superb athleticism and the body of a Canadian Football League linebacker, Serena Williams has enjoyed a fruitful tennis career that sportswriters who would rather be covering Serbian gymnastics would call “impressive to people who care about this sort of thing.” She’s won Grand Slam Titles, boasts an endorsement deal with Tampax (seriously), and has battled allegations of sexual affairs with Shaquille O’Neal on two separate occasions.

What Williams also has, however, is a bit of a temper and a propensity for mid-match death threats. In the 2009 U.S. Open she walked off the court prematurely after getting her impossibly large rear end handed to her by Kim Clijsters, but not before lobbing a death threat at the line judge. The event was not an isolated incident, as the 28-year-old part-time fashion designer has a decorated history of blaming other people, places, and NBA stars who lie about sleeping with her for various shortcomings. It’s always somebody else’s fault, isn’t it Serena?


9. Terrell Owens (The Insecure Teenage Girl)

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In all fairness, picking a single character flaw in Terrell Owens' mentally unbalanced repertoire is sort of like giving JaMarcus Russell one thing to work on over the offseason. Owens is a poor winner, awful teammate, and a horribly sore loser as well. Whether he’s publicly berating Jessica Simpson, or repeatedly alluding to his heroic efforts for playing with a broken ankle, Owens’ dedication to finding excuses for his failure is something that the WNBA marketing department would call “inspiring.”

 

8. Alex Ovechkin, (Now Featuring a "Property of Sidney Crosby" Tattoo)

Photo: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

If your favorite NHL team is in overtime and facing playoff elimination, there’s nobody better to have in the locker room than Alex Ovechkin. (You know, if Joe Sakic or the top six forwards of the Detroit Red Wings are busy polishing their Stanley Cup rings.) Ovechkin is a gifted player who enjoys long walks on the beach, refusing to bathe, and routinely losing to Sidney Crosby in every major competition the two have ever played.

The only thing number eight doesn’t like is being reminded about his hockey-related shortcomings (especially if the person pointing them out is a teenage girl). Following the 2010 Olympic Games, after a masterful choke job, Ovechkin not only refused to pose for a picture with an excited female fan, but actually tried to knock the camera away from her. The former number one overall pick didn't exactly earn sportsmanship points with the media as he scurried back to his den of shame – which features a surprising amount of full-length mirrors and hand lubricant. A video of the altercation became a viral sensation and global reminder that Ovechkin may not be a “winner” or “decent human being,” but he isn’t afraid to take on any opponent – no matter how tiny, female or Canadian they may be.


7. Evgeni Plushenko (Second Place is the Biggest Loser)

Photo: Vincent Pinto/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

Figure skating may not be a gentleman’s game (or even a distinctly male one), but that doesn’t mean that its biggest stars should behave like they’re at a casting session for Flava of Love.

After winning silver at the 2010 Olympics, Plushenko decided that the best way to handle his second place disappointment would be with a small temper tantrum and virtual refusal to come down from the gold medal podium before the anthems began.

As volunteer workers readied their Tasers, Plushenko got off his high horse, momentarily accepted the silver and then promptly fired up his computer, in order to award himself the “platinum medal” on his website.


6. George Steinbrenner (The Monopoly Man)

Photo: Ezra Shaw/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

Remember that family in your neighborhood with the fancy house, poor parenting skills, and quiet shame circling the perfectly manicured yard? When their kids used to misbehave, instead of disciplining them or instilling values, they’d simply buy more expensive children and discard the ones that weren’t working out.

Well, this is essentially what George Steinbrenner does with his teams. Whenever things go wrong he throws a financial hissy fit and tosses a few hundred million dollars to make the problem go away. Oddly enough, much like the Orange County PTA "child upgrade program," this strategy has a pretty high rate of success.

It just goes to show you that the only difference between a sore loser and a consistent one is a few million dollars and a safe place to store Alex Rodriguez’s dirty syringes.

 

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