Planet of the Apes Lives Another Day

December 1, 2008

There are some pretty weird rumors floating around the interwebs these days. Rumors like, a prequel to Planet of the Apes is possibly in the offing. Is anyone else as horrified about that as I am? The movie community seems rightly disturbed about this, particularly considering Scott Frank, who's only directed The Lookout, would be helming the project. Yikes.

Of course, details on this film are a bit vague as of right now. According to Devin Faraci, a person close to Frank, his film "will not feature talking monkeys, and it will not end with chimpanzees running wild in the streets, taking over the world. But it isn't entirely divorced from the world of Planet of the Apes, either. In fact, Frank sees his movie as the opening chapter in a saga that could span the thousand years between today and a world where apes rule."

Really? Do we really need to see that film? Is there really any demographic left -- at all -- that's going to shell out 10 to 15 bucks to see yet another film in a franchise demolished by Tim Burton? But get this: on top of all the other ridiculousness, the movie is going to be titled, simply, Caesar. What?! Why not just call it, Hamlet: The Monkey of Denmark. That would make about as much sense.

At this point, it doesn't seem like anyone is particularly interested in how these monkeys took over the earth. A more interesting film would be about how nit-wits took over the studios.