How to Win Robbie E’s Heart
What up, dudes? A lot of smurf-looking chicks come up to me and Bigger Rob all the time asking us what they have to do to date me. How they can be Robbie E's girl? Well, for starters not be a smurf, bro. Anyway, today's blog I'm gonna list the top things that I, Big Rob, look for in a woman.
5 - Booty - The girl has to have a nice behind, bro. It's my favorite thing to look at and touch. I mean, really, who doesn't love a perfect second pair of cheeks?
4 - Class – It's one thing to hook up with a hoodrat (yes I just said hoodrat) for a one night, club hookup, man. Bigger Rob is the king of slaying hoodrats after the club. Last week, after D'Jais in Belmar, he had this one girl and he -- nevermind, this blog is PG-13, so I better not get into it, bro. Anywho, someone who is actually going to be my girl, gotta have class. That means she carries herself well, is respectable, trustworthy, interested in making little Robbie Es, and only into me, bro. But she can think bigger Rob is cool too.
3 - Fun - I am only going to be with a girl that is willing to let loose, act like a fool, feel pretty with no makeup, be different, fart, leave nuggets in the toilet, do cartwheels, make music videos, eat whole pizzas… you know. Regular stuff like that.
2 - Dressed well - She's gotta look dope when dressed up, but also look dope when not dressed up. Then, then she's perfect… then you are for me.
1 - Risk it to get the biscuit - She has to be willing to take chances and fall in love with the most entertaining, crazy, weird dude that has possibly ever existed. In order to do this, one must be extremely weird themselves, and crazy, and a freak, and… you get it, bro. But real love lasts and is true. The time must be put in man. Obviously though, she must love Bigger Rob also. He is everywhere I am; even in the bedroom.
Until next week...OHHHHH...YOU AINT ON THE LIST BRO....!!!!!
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