In yet another bizarre twist in the sordid tale of USC athletics, the troubled Trojans have replaced departing coach Pete Carroll with somebody willing to completely bail on a program that he’s been in charge of for less than 14 months (which probably won’t come back to bite them in the ass).
Lane Kiffin, made famous for picking fights with a pile of skin that used to be Al Davis, will assume the role as the head coach of Southern California later this week.
The 34-year-old bench boss served as the team’s offensive coordinator from 2005-2007, where he helped mold some of the NFL’s greatest draft busts and collegiate overachievers (looking at you, Leinart) over that span.
He then went on to coach the Oakland Raiders for a few weeks in a professional jaunt that would later be described as "a real salute to mediocrity and selfishness." In his defense, however, he does have a pretty hot wife.
Kiffin will reportedly leave his current post at the University of Tennessee just in time to screw them over at freshmen signing day (what a sweetheart) and name no successor in the process. Have no fear, though, Tennessee fans who feel horribly violated. He will leave his elderly father behind (who functions as the Tennessee defensive coordinator) to pick up the pieces.
Best of luck, Lane. You're a classy fella!
UPDATE: Monte Kiffin will also screw over the University of Tennessee and follow his son to USC where he will be named the team's defensive coordinator.
Long-time USC offensive coordinator Norm Chow will not return to Trojan Town to become the school's offensive coordinator.
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