Rejected UFC Nicknames Revealed!

November 20, 2008

Through some truly professional investigative journalism, we've dug through the file room at UFC headquarters and discovered that certain fighters on the UFC roster have long-been advised to drop their chosen nicknames. Apparently, UFC brass has been regulating nickname use since some time in the mid-'90s and, for the first time ever, we're releasing a few of the forbidden names.

Chuck Liddell

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Current Nickname: Ice Man
Rejected Nickname: "Up" Chuck Liddell

Our digging turned up the idea that Chuck will hit you so hard it will make you throw up. It was rejected purely on the premise that it is the stupidest thing anyone has ever heard, and it sounded too much like a Garbage Pail Kids property. Rumor has it that Dana was advised by council to avoid the ruthless GPC legal bullpen of Sawyer Lawyer and Trial Miles.

Rich Franklin

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Current Nickname: Ace
Rejected Nickname: "Richie" Rich Franklin

This name was all set to go when Franklin's then-manager refused to change his name to "Dollar" Bill and the UFC wouldn't let Franklin take on the name solo. This disrupted Franklin's whole persona-which was, of course, all about the Benjamins. His entrance song was Ice Cube's "Hundred Dolla Bill Ya'll."

[Editor's note: you TOTALLY thought we'd go Diddy here. Suckers!]

Forrest Griffin

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Current Nickname: None
Rejected Nickname: "Run Forrest Run Griffin"

This name stems from an attempt by Griffin's camp to tie Forrest's original passion, chasing down perps for the Richmond County Sheriff's department with an easy-to-remember, chant-worthy slogan. There were also rumblings that he was courting paramount for a sample of Robin Wright Penn's voice to stir local crowds into a frenzy. Our research proved the trouble was in the absolute idiocy in the name "Run Forrest Run." It represents zero creativity and flirts with infringement boundaries. However, we can't help but point out that no other name has been deemed worthy to take its place.

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Dong Hyun Kim

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Current Nickname: Stun Gun
Rejected Nickname: "Long Duk" Dong Hyun Kim

Kim figured he could fast-track his career and quickly up his cred in the American market by fashioning his name after a beloved '80s movie character. Unfortunately for Kim, he got too involved in his character and Dana White found him passed out in front of the UFC headquarters with marker on his face that read, "Long Live the Duk." He was wearing nothing but tighty whities, and Dana deemed him unfit to bear the name.

Frank Mir

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Current Nickname: None
Rejected Nickname: Frank "I'm looking at the man in the" Mir

It's music to our ears. Unfortunately, it's the type of music that makes our ears bleed. Despite the bleeding, UFC was considering this and allowed Bruce Buffer to see how it sounded over the PA. Bruce got halfway through and passed out on the canvas. It unofficially counted as Mir's first professional KO.

Jonathan Goulet

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Current Nickname: The Road Warrior
Rejected Nickname: "Robert" Goulet

With his love for show tunes already in place, Jonathan figured there was no sense in reinventing the wheel. By simply changing the first name and keeping the Certified Pre-Owned last name, Jonathan thought he could cash in on the free hotel rooms in Vegas, and maybe score a few easy dates. The plan was shot down during the real Robert Goulet's 1998 stint in MMA. He actually fought in a few local shows, but ended his fighting career after he made an inappropriate comment to a ring girl and she knocked him out cold with one swift blow.

*None of the above information is based on actually fact, nor does it reflect the actual views or opinions of anyone at Spike TV or the UFC. Also, if any of these fighters want to call me, I'd be happy to talk about licensing any of the above.

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