Cannes Gets Bullwhipped

May 23, 2008

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You say, "Stop kicking ass," like I can turn it off.

Despite a festival poster renouncing the “blind glamour” ofthe Cannes film festival in recent years and an overwhelming proportion of dark and cautionary films, the festival's most reported-on happening was the crowdcheering for “Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”

Friggin good.  I haveno desire to understand the Shatila massacres during the Israeli invasion of Lebanon.  I don’t really care about Che Guevara other thanthat the shirts hipsters wear (ironically or otherwise) bother me.

What do I care about?  Oh, I don’t know, bullwhipping Nazis so long as there is witty banterboth before and after the crack of the whip.  I also like treasure, and explosions.  Agreed?  Good, if you hadn’t Iprobably would’ve just shot you in the chest (in a market in Marrakesh).

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