British Government to Students: Have More Orgasms

July 13, 2009

The British Government thinks high school students do not understand the pleasurable nature of sex. To right this wrong they have embarked on a campaign to raise awareness and, in doing so, have created the world’s best slogan.

Britain’s National Health Service is distributing a pamphlet to school students, parents, and teachers outlining that students have a “right” to an enjoyable sex life and that regular sex can be good for cardiovascular health. The authors of the pamphlet, titled Pleasure, believe that for too long students have been taught about the dangers of sex, the need for safe sex, and finding a loving partner rather than the main reason people have sex -- because it’s insanely pleasurable.

The slogan for the new campaign is “An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.” The pamphlet says: “Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes' physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?” Now students can whack off or have sex and tell their parents they’re simply doing their homework.

The new awareness campaign has caused controversy, with some calling it “deplorable” and likely to increase rates of teen pregnancy and STDs. Steve Slack, one of the authors of the pamphlet, believes that “far from promoting teenage sex, it could encourage young people to delay losing their virginity until they are sure they will enjoy the experience.” The pamphlet sounds like the perfect excuse to get it on.

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