Ashton Kutcher vs. CNN in the World's Most Boring Race

April 16, 2009

I’ll come right out and say that I think Twitter is a waste of time.  That being said, Ashton Kutcher is racing CNN to 1,000,000 followers.

What are the stakes in this amazing race?  Well, they were pretty much nothing.  CNN, as you can imagine, barely registers Kutcher on their radar.  Kutcher said if he wins he would ding-dong ditch Ted Turner.  That, of course, assumes Ted Turner lives in a damn walk-up single family home instead of one of several multi-million dollar ranches. 

However, people love celebrities and a few others got involved.  Larry King posted a response pointing out that: 1. Ted Turner doesn’t run CNN anymore, and 2. “Kutcher, you’re playing out of your field.” 

Even more inanely, Team Britney has thrown their rumpled hat in the ring for this contest.  Literally the only positive aspect of this entire debacle is that the Sims 3 creators have vowed to donate 5,000 mosquito nets in the name of Kutcher’s millionth follower regardless of who wins the race.


Kutcher was the first to make it to the one million mark, and has decided to donate $100,000 and 10,000 mosquito nets to the Malaria No More charity.  Also, his one millionth follower will now be made into a Sims character. 

Source: Stringer/Getty Images