The Top 10 Most Annoying People on the Internet

August 24, 2009

Since the creation of sites like YouTube and MySpace, the Internet has allowed regular people the unique opportunity to introduce themselves to users all over the world in a way like never before. Individuals that never would've seen the light of day somehow became stars overnight. This usually isn't a good thing.

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10. Tila Tequila

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Apparently all you need is a pair of fake boobs and a face like Gizmo to drive dorks crazy all over the net.

Even though she did some modeling and had minor popularity in the import racing scene, it was an insane following on MySpace that shot Tila Tequila to fame and got her a reality show on MTV. Only the internet could make someone with little-to-no talent as popular as Jesus within a few weeks. As of right now, Tila has almost 200 million profile views on her MySpace page. Cleavage is a helluva drug.

9. Rick Astley

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This has nothing really to do with Rick personally, but the image of Astley took on an entirely different persona the second some guy decided to invent the RickRoll. In the beginning it was totally hilarious, but it has now gotten completely out of control. The video and song are completely ridiculous and it’s really funny to throw it in people’s faces when they least expect it. We get it. But please stop! I’m convinced that when the apocalypse hits the only two things that will survive are going to be cockroaches and the RickRoll.

8. brokeNCYDE

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The combination of Screamo and Crunk should have never been put together, but the Hot Topic-wearing crew known as brokeNCYDE went ahead and did it anyway. Thanks, bros.

When the video for "Freaxxx" dropped early last year it was impossible to get away from. The amount of hate that it brought out of viewers was unprecedented. There should be a book published of just the comments from the video’s YouTube page alone. This attention, along with the devotion of brain-dead teenage girls, piqued the interest of Suburban Noize Records and saw the group performing on MTV within days.

The review of their music from Kerrang! pretty much says it all: "If this is the future of rock music, we're f***ing outta here."

7. Chris Crocker

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The fact that this girl guy was able to soak up 15 minutes of fame for crying over how the media is mean to Britney Spears proves our de-evolution as a human race in one fell swoop. Is also proves that we truly enjoy punishing ourselves by any means necessary.

Chris Crocker's “Leave Britney Alone” video is hands down one of the greatest viral videos of all time but easily one of the most irritating. The sickest part has to be the fact that we couldn’t get enough of it and went hog wild posting it all over the joint. Feeding the fire is what truly makes the Internet the Internet, and we all had a big hand in turning Chris Crocker into the trainwreck he is today.

I can’t even look at this dude without wanting to poke myself in the eyeballs so he can stop ruining my life with his face.

6. Soulja Boy

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What can I say about Soulja Boy Tell 'Em that hasn’t already been said? Answer: Not much. The kid still blows, but he is somehow still as popular as ever.

With one really irritating song and a very wacky dance, Soulja Boy caught fire on the Internet and got signed to a major label pretty much overnight. Soulja Boy seemed to take the hip-hop/rap genre down a road that older generations despised and younger ones couldn’t seem to get enough of. Only in America. The Internet gave Soulja Boy the tools to make a name for himself, and without them, he would never have made it out of Atlanta. I think his music has seriously taken a few years off of people’s lives. Screw cancer, Soulja Boy Tell 'Em is takin’ fools out in droves!

5. Perez Hilton

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I can’t deny that Perez is good at what he does, but I still don’t understand how a guy who has never really created anything artistically relevant could get away with ripping apart people that do. Some of the people he destroys deserve it, but it’s not like Perez is some kind of perfect being with unlimited God-given talents. Does drawing semen on celebrities' faces in Microsoft Paint count? Oh, wait, it’s the internet. Of course it does.

Anywayz…Perez is the poster child for sheltered geeks all around the world who are getting their revenge on celebrities with the use of their computer and keyboard. Again, I can’t hate on someone who has a following as large as his. I can only blame the people that support the beast that is Perez Hilton. Thanks, Internet.

4. Fred Figglehorn

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If you have yet to experience a video on Fred’s (a.ka. Lucas Cruikshank) YouTube page, you just might be better off. From the manipulated high-pitch voice to his rants about falling in love with some chick named Judy that has no interest in him, Fred is hands down one of the most annoying human beings ever to hit it big on the interwebs.

What are we thinking? Why do we put ourselves through this torture? Do you realize that this kid has over 1.3 million subscribers on YouTube? I look at his comments, but it’s just a bunch of people just straight up hating on him. Usually there are a few defenders of whomever is making the video, but in this case it’s all vile contempt. I even find myself watching two or three videos at a time for no reason at all...and I don’t even know why. A crack-like epidemic has hit cyberspace and his name is Fred Figglehorn. Beware. 18:20:23

3. Celebrities Using Twitter

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The worst aspect of Twitter has to be celebrities Tweeting about random s*** in their day-to-day lives. As if we needed a reason to hate them even more.

When Ashton Kutcher posted a picture of Demi Moore’s butt a few months back, I almost lost it. All he’s doing is throwing it in our faces that he gets to have sex with Demi Moore whenever he wants. This is the type of crap that is just not needed! Nobody wants to hear that Diddy is sippin’ on Dom Perignon while getting a BJ from some blonde bimbo in a Vegas penthouse suite. Who cares? It’s unbelievable to think that we’re all of a sudden supposed to pay attention to these people even more than we already were. As if their money and fame weren't enough, now they find it absolutely necessary to have to Tweet about how awesome their life is in 140 characters or less.

2. Bloggers

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With over 112 million blogs active worldwide, it’s scary to think that any average Joe with a computer and an internet connection can voice opinions that will live forever in cyberspace. Some people should just not be allowed to speak their minds. I’m looking at you, political bloggers.

But my least favorite of the lot have to be pretentious writers that blog about entertainment. Reading reviews about a movie or new record always has a way of getting underneath people’s skin, especially if it’s extremely negative or overwhelmingly positive. There used to only be a handful of well-known critics writing about these topics in the past, but now we have thousands of people claiming to be experts.

1. You

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If it wasn’t for people indulging in escapist nonsense, these annoying online characters wouldn’t even have had a chance in the first place. And I’m just as guilty as you are. Sometimes I find myself looking at things that make me so angry that I want to thrust my head right through my computer screen.

People always say, “If you don’t like it, then don’t watch it.” But that doesn’t really make much sense to me. I think that we watch it in the first place because we know how horrible it’s going to be. The whole premise of viral videos is based on trying to find the most ridiculous piece of content because people on the Internet get off on finding horrible crap and passing judgment upon it.

If you think you’re not one of these people, then you might want to wake up and smell the drivel. Without an audience, none of the bozos on this list would even be here.

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