Stupid Penis Tricks? There's an App For That

August 8, 2011

For 13 years, two men in Melbourne, Simon Morley and David Friend, have been pioneering the art of penis puppetry, both in person and hiring other guys to do it (that sounds uncomfortable, to say the least). It is precisely what it sounds like: two guys twisting their wangs into various shapes for money. Where in most countries they'd be working gay clubs, they have the respect of the comedy intelligentsia of Australia. And now, you can be like them.

All you need is an Android phone. The comedy duo have put their greatest penile twistings on an app for all to read about, practice, and share their best demonstrations of. We imagine there will be a lot of "stick pointing straight up" shared on this particular application.

Here's what we're wondering: we'll admit that some of these "installations" (yes, they really are called that in some circles) do actually involve some talent. We're just wondering: is it really worth $3.19 of your hard-earned money to make your John Thomas look like a bulldog, or how to properly coil it so that it looks like a hamburger? Where, precisely, will you use this? It's not like you can just whip it out at most parties and say "Hey, want to see a neat trick?" And frankly, at the parties where you can do that, people are more demanding. Trust us.

But, on the other hand, it does forward the noble goal of spreading sophomoric humor, so we guess there's that. We just want to be careful about who we share it with.

Photo: Puppetry of the Penis