NCAA Jokingly Launches Investigation to See if Dead Last Michigan Wolverines Practiced Too Much

November 16, 2009

In the most amusing demonstration of irony college football has seen since Boise State began its “Truth and Justice in the BCS” lecture series, the NCAA has launched an investigation to see if the Michigan Wolverines (who are tied for dead last in the Big Ten) exceeded the maximum number of practice hours allowed.

The inquiry (which we are told is, in fact, not a joke) began 24 hours after the Wolverines lost their fourth straight conference game, allowing Wisconsin to put 45 points on the board – something they weren’t able to do playing division seven powerhouse Wofford earlier this year.

Apparently, midway through the fourth quarter when Michigan was down by three touchdowns and letting a walk-on frat boy with an alcohol problem and learning disability run all over them, somebody thought “I don’t like the way that one defensive back almost made the tackle; I better make sure he’s not practicing too much.”

Great work, NCAA. Glad to see the sponsorship dollars from bowl games that rob us of a college football playoff are being used effectively. Perhaps asking the undefeated Cincinnati Bearcats or TCU Horned Frogs for some help on January 7th would be a good idea. Neither of them will be playing in the National Title game, so they’ll have plenty of time to help investigate whether or not the worst team in the Big Ten made their student athletes spend an extra 90 minutes on the field.

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