Two, Too Unromantic Gifts

June 25, 2008


Looking for that perfect gift for your girlfriend’s birthday or your anniversary?  A gift that says everything you want to but don’t know how?  A gift that says, “we should break up because I fear you will give me an STD.”  Read on.  

Giant Microbes is the funniest because if you’re going to give your girlfriend a venereal disease, it’s nice to have it in vibrant pastel color and in a soft plush.  I actually gave one of these to somebody once.  Take that however you want. 


If giving your girlfriend the clap doesn’t push her/whoever’s envelope enough, you can take a giant distasteful step up to the next level of outrage with the AIDS ring. 

Modeled in three dimensions as the precious metal version of one of the most prolific and unforgiving killers on Earth, the AIDS ring is either art beyond my comprehension, or a joke beyond my threshold for vulgarity.