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The Top 5 TUFers to Beat Kimbo Slice

by gdesanctis   November 04, 2008 at 3:41PM  |  Views: 304

Nate Diaz

This makes one of the more interesting of the five matchups. Slice's biggest strength is his ghetto cred, but Diaz would simply negate that. Let's be serious, who can bring the gangsta better than Nate Diaz?

Oh, did I mention he's also trained in Gracie Jiu Jitsu? He "only" has a Brown Belt, but that's good enough to beat a guy who can't even spell Jiu Jitsu. This fight would end up pretty much the same as the above.

Rashad Evans


I almost didn't pick Rashad Evans, because it's too obvious and it's not as funny that way, but this would be such a fun fight that I couldn't help myself. Later in his career, Evans is becoming more established on his feet, but it's important to remember that he was first an elite NCAA wrestler. That means, depending on how feels on a given night, he could probably drop Kimbo pretty much anyway he wanted to. I like to think that he would open the first round by doing a little dancing, then take him down and sink in a submission. But just to prove a point, he'd let him go before the tap and then lock in a different submission. I'd like to see that repeated two or three times. By now we're in the second round and Kimbo is gasping for air. He's wobbly and confused and practically begging for a KO, so Evans would drop him at about 2:43 of the second with a solid overhand right.

Amir Sadollah


Amir wins this fight based on the principle that he has apparently made a deal with the Devil and he will never loose another MMA fight. The only question this prompts is: what did Amir have to give up? I can't help but think back to a story I heard on the internet one time, the source of which is unknown:

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

I think we have our answer.