Apparently Michael Vick's Penis is Worth $1 Million

February 23, 2010

Whoever said that the folks at Playgirl magazine are nothing more than a bunch of smut-peddling sycophants with no redeeming qualities was only half right. They're also savvy, opportunistic, and willing to give the American public what it clearly wants… naked pictures of Michael Vick.

A spokesman from Playgirl (who uses his real name and everything) claims that the nude dude magazine has offered to donate $1 million to PETA (a popular animal rights group endorsed by lifelong winners like Khloe Kardashian and Dennis Rodman) in Vick’s name if he agrees to let it all hang out in their publication.

“I figured he paid back society for dog fighting, but what about the animals?” the Playgirl public relations department told Life and Style Magazine in what has to be the oddest intra-magazine cooperation ever.

Essentially Vick now has two options:

1. Flush what little bit of respect he has left down the toilet and pose for a magazine that talks about being the first magazine to show full male erections with the same sense of historic significance that normal people reference the moon landing or Declaration of Independence.


2. Refuse to raise significant funds for a cause that he has implied he is 100 percent behind.

It appears as if Vick has found himself between a cock and a hard place.

Photo: Kim McIssac/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images