The Top 10 Movies to Make Any Dude Cry
There are some movies out there that will make even the toughest of dudes cry. Most guys won’t cop to it, but when they’re all by their lonesome and you pop one of these suckers in, nine out of 10 dudes will shed a tear. Only the most callous man can resist the emotional turmoil these movies inspire in the manliest of men.
Source: Columbia Pictures
10. The Fly
Source: 20th Century Fox
This film is tragic on so many levels. Man makes invention, man meets woman, man shows woman invention, woman is impressed and falls in love with man. Man becomes fly and tries to barf on/eat everything he comes across. Man loses woman, humanity, and life. Aristotle couldn’t write this stuff.
Tearjerker moment: When Veronica (Geena Davis) is forced to shoot Brundle (Jeff Goldblum) after he’s turned completely into a gigantic fly/telepod. Brundle realizes he must sacrifice his own life for the sake of Veronica and himself. He is, finally, a monster – but a selfless monster.
9. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
The Return of the King is inarguably the best of Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings trilogy. The epic scale of the battles, the sacrifices the characters must make, the defeat of Sauron -- there are enough tearjerker scenes in this film to last you a lifetime, and it’s guaranteed to choke you up at some point during its 201-minute run time (251 for the extended edition) even if you’re watching it on a date (which is not recommended, for various reasons that involve girls and their general distaste for war, fantasy, wizards, and hobbits).
Tearjerker moment: When the better part of Middle Earth bows down to King Aragorn and Arwen. When the King and Elf approach the hobbits, they also bow down. But Aragorn implores them to rise. “For you bow to no one,” he says. *Gulp, tear* Gets you every time.
One of Oliver Stone’s best films, Platoon is one of those movies that actually manages to be exciting and fun while making war look like hell. Chris (Charlie Sheen) tries to survive his stint in Vietnam under the command of the psychotic Sgt. Barnes (Tom Berenger), and he only manages to do so with the help of his friend and mentor Sgt. Elias (Willem Dafoe). It doesn’t matter if you’ve never even met anyone who fought in Vietnam, you’ll still get hit right where it counts.
Tearjerker moment: Without a doubt it’s at the end of the movie when Elias (whom we thought had been killed earlier) runs after the chopper that whisks Chris to safety. Chris watches as his friend is gunned down by the Vietcong, Elias’ arms outstretched, almost Christ-like. Only a man with a heart of coal can suppress the tears.
7. E.T.: The Extraterrestrial
Source: Universal Pictures
This isn’t necessarily the manliest movie on the list, but it’s definitely the one that speaks to the kid in all of us. The movie is a metaphor about friendship and growing up, and though E.T. is resurrected from the dead there’s a moment where it looks like Elliott (Henry Thomas) was going to see his friend eat the farm. When we watch E.T. die, we’re really watching our childhood extinguished. By the government.
Tearjerker moment: When the government cronies have rigged a zillion machines up to E.T.’s body and his heart stops pulsing and he’s become a chalky white alien corpse, it’s hard not to bawl like a little baby. Which is exactly what Drew Barrymore does in the best role of her career.
6. Field of Dreams
Source: Universal Pictures
This is the movie that really put Kevin Costner on the map. Field of Dreams also gave us one of the most oft-repeated lines in movie history: "If you build it, he will come." Well, he did come, along with thousands of other people -- to the movie, and in droves. And they all cried like little babies. Don’t pretend like you didn’t. Baseball fans and non-fans alike, we all cried like little babies who just wanted to toss the ball around with our pa.
Tearjerker moment: When the ghost of Ray’s (Costner) father appears after he’s built the baseball triangle, and Ray asks his dad if he’d like to have a catch. The film ends with the two men playing a simple game of catch. The film ends with us losing our s*** like school girls.