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Cops O: That's My Grill

Eight Awesome Ways People are Messing with Telemarketers

by Theta1138   June 15, 2011 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 29,816
As a society, we've drifted towards cell phones, so the telemarketer, that relentless annoyance, is becoming blissfully rarer as time goes on. However, there are still plenty of land-lines out there, and telemarketers are gleefully dialing away, annoying the hell out of anybody they can find. But sometimes people annoy back.

8. Call Them Back

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Telemarketers are, as a rule, minimum wage employees who don't care. Then, of course, you can really have some fun.

Call them for everything: sports tips, the time, even just a chat. After all, they annoy you whenever they want, so you should be able to annoy them whenever you want. Or if you just want them to go away, call them until they stop calling you: telemarketers thrive because they can't be easily found, and once they know calling you means dozens of annoying calls they can't avoid, they'll stop.

7. Just Say Yes

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Sure, faking being from another country and not speaking the language is a time-honored tradition when trying to get rid of telemarketers, but this guy strips it down to its most basic; he says "yes" to every question. No matter what the question is.

This is almost too cruel, as he seems to speak English, but probably the best part is his quizzical "Yes?" when asked for his Social Security Number. On the other hand, it's hard to argue that debt scammers don't deserve to have their chains yanked.

6. Talk To The Robots In Their Own Language

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Odds are good if you've misdialed a number, at some point you've heard this. And you can use it to end annoying calls for good.

How? As telemarketing slime have become more savvy in their ways, they've realized two things: one, that most people are smart enough not to just trustingly hand out their telephone numbers anymore, and two, that a machine can just crank through random sequences of numbers, call them, and confirm whether or not they're valid number.

That series of beeps? That's government code for "vacant circuit", that is, an unused line with no callers. In other words, if the robot hears that, it immediately marks the number as "Do Not Call".

Or you can just play it back in the ear of complaining telemarketers.

5. Asking Them For Their Employee ID

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This is called a "gatekeeper question": a question that the telemarketer has to answer, but can't. For example, this absolute genius, when faced with obnoxious telemarketers spamming his business, told them to start demanding an employee ID. Every time they called, which was dozens of times a day, they were faced with somebody demanding an employee ID.

It worked: eventually the telemarketers realized they were never getting through, and quit calling.

If somebody's calling your house, ask them for some piece of information: their company's address, the direct dialing line of the company, or even something they won't give out in a thousand years, like their federal tax ID number. Eventually, they'll get the hint. Or think you're insane. Either way!