Hip-hop just may be the most popular music genre on the face of the planet and for good reason. It’s raw, real and unpredictable. But in recent years the music revolution that started in New York over 30-plus years ago has been dying a slow death. For some reason, wannabe hip-hop artists with little talent have decided to pervert the genre by manufacturing bubblegum garbage for the masses. If hip-hop isn’t dead yet, it is definitely in critical condition.
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10. "In Da Club" - 50 Cent
I’ll be the first to admit that I thought this song was the jam when it first came out, but I’m sure I wasn’t the only fooled by this slick hip-hop businessman.
Now I'm not saying this song is bad, but when Fiddy first came on the mainstream pop scene in 2003 he pulled off one of the greater magic tricks in all of music. This man was creating the illusion that he was a real artist trying to speak for the streets, when lo and behold he was just a businessman who didn’t seem to care about the music he was attempting to represent. This success seemed to open the floodgates for a whole slew of cartoon-like hip-hop artists trying to make a buck off of Middle America.
9. "Me So Horny" - 2 Live Crew
As funny as this song was in back in 1989, it was nothing more than shock-pop crap that had no place in the world of hip-hop. As Nasty As They Wanna Be was nothing more than a dirty Miami bass comedy record that featured samples of Rudy Ray Moore and Eddie Murphy getting ill on the mic. I do love the fact that the lyrical content in their songs had conservatives like George Will shaking in his boots, but the only thing they really brought to the table were filthy raps and fat Florida asses.
8. "Ice Ice Baby" – Vanilla Ice
I had no choice for this one. I feel like Vanilla was a pretty sincere dude when it came down to his music. The guy was spittin’ Miami raps, throwin’ down synchronized dance moves and just plain doin’ his thing.
But back in 1990, this song pretty much took on a life of its own and would go on to be one of the more hated songs in hip-hop history. It’s kinda sad that this man had no control of how people in the hip-hop community would react to the popularity of this record. I guess that’s what you get for trying to put out bunk s**t during the Public Enemy era.
7. "Too Legit To Quit" - MC Hammer
I can’t deny that “Addams Groove” was a worse song than “Too Legit,” but Hammer’s first single off his 1991 LP seemed to almost flush the entire hip-hop/rap scene down the crapper. The size and scope of “Too Legit” helped push Hammer even further away from his musical roots in Oakland and pretty much turned rap into a giant Pepsi ad. Even the video for the song is an over-the-top mess. At least the “U Can't Touch This” video was simple and had some hot girls dancing in spandex.
If it wasn’t for The Chronic, I don’t know what I would have done with myself.
6. "Gettin' Jiggy wit It" - Will Smith
I give Will Smith credit for making clean hip hop for the masses, but when Big Willie Style dropped in 1997 I had honestly had enough. It was like a hip-hop covers record from start to finish. "Just the Two of Us"? Fresh Prince, please.
5. “Lose Yourself” – Eminem
8 Mile was a pretty good movie, but we all know that this song caused the end of Eminem. Everything he did after this was complete sentimental bulls**t. If it wasn’t for the popularity of this song, he probably would have never attempted more hip-pop ballads such as "Like Toy Soldiers" and "When I'm Gone." Marshall was never the same MC after the release of this song. His anger, raw energy, and unpredictable lyrical content went right down the freakin’ tubes.
4. "Big Pimpin’" - Jay-Z
I understand that this song is the straight up jizzy jam and helped push the underground Houston legends UGK into the mainstream, but this track was one of the biggest reasons why hip-hop turned pop in the in the early 2000s. Just the thought of rich college girls dancing to this song at Spring Break in Cancun makes me sick. Did I really just say that?
I do realize the roots of hip-hop came from upbeat party raps, but this song helped open the doors for a slew of untalented hacks trying to make some loot through the TRL pipeline.
3. "Mo Money Mo Problems" - The Notorious B.I.G.
I do love this song, but when Biggie passed away in 1997, Puff Daddy basically thought he had a free pass to do whatever he wanted just as long as he added “Biggie is the greatest of all time” at the end of every sentence.
When I fist saw the video for “Mo Money” my jaw pretty much dropped off. It was the complete opposite of anything Biggie had done in the past. There was no personality whatsoever. It was bright, candy-coated and extravagant on a whole new level. Plus the combination of Mase and Diddy dancing like f***ing mental defectives didn’t help things either.
2. Any Song Featuring Auto-Tune Vocals
In the last few years, the Auto-Tune has hit the hip-hop world like the plague. Since 2005, Florida native T-Pain has been throwing out an endless string of hollow hip-hop hits while artists like Jim Jones, Lil Wayne and even Kanye West have all followed in his footsteps. It goes to prove that hip-hop has become a breeding ground for pop trends and slick product placement instead of an environment of real artists trying to push the true roots of the music forward. I just hope these fools realize that they’re using a production gizmo that Cher made famous.
1. "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" - Soulja Boy Tell 'Em
The idea that Kanye West said “Soulja Boy is fresh as hell and is actually the true meaning of what hip-hop is supposed to be” is just plain depressing. I don’t care if he recorded his own song and made up a new dance move, the kid has no talent. Zero. I do absolutely think it’s great that a kid form the hood in Atlanta was able to go from rags to riches overnight, but I refuse to ignore the fact that all he’s doing is promoting a lack of intelligence in music by turning hip-hop into a gimmick.
I will knock this kid out with my spicy burrito breath.