Beer Machine Removes the Middle Man

August 4, 2008

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Tired of the same-old scene at your local hangout?  Don't care to socialize (or fail to do so) over over-priced drinks in an underlit bar with too-loud music that you hate?  Rather drink alone listening to your favorite, sad music while saving money and curbing your aggressive social tendencies?  Crafty?  Try the Beer Machine!

This is truly a device for the lost and lonesome.  Check out the advertising copy from the site:  "You simply cannot get your beer any fresher- to do so, you'd have to crawl inside a fermentation tank."

This is what it's come to.  I want fresh, effing beer.  No.  No, no.  Fresher, damnit.  What do I have to DO!?

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