The Top 7 Gadgets for Surviving the Wild

November 24, 2008

When it comes to the wilderness, survival is the name of the game. Who knows when you’ll be cast into a dire situation with only your wits and a sharpened bamboo pole to protect yourself? Before you plunge to your fiery doom, you'll need to know about the 7 gadgets you'll want if you're going to survive in the wilderness.

by Reverend Danger

The following article does not represent the opinions of Spike TV or its affiliates.

7. The M40 Survival Knife

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Even though the M40 Survival Knife costs only 10 cents, it may save you a whole lot of trouble.  In that regard, it's pretty similar to a condom.  The difference, of course, is that you can kill a bear with the knife. You can make this knife yourself...just cut a hacksaw blade in half with pliers, snip out a can opener, and sharpen the un-serrated edge with a belt sander.

6. DIY Bow and Arrow 

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Dude.  Cavemen made bows and arrows.  You’ve beaten Halo on Legendary.  I’m pretty sure you can handle it.  First, find yourself a straight piece of wood that looks too thick to be a bow and arrow. Then use your survival knife (you did bring that, didn’t you?) to whittle down the ends so they’re flexible. Notch the ends, then use your shoe lace to string it.  For arrows, sharpen the end of a stick and use either feathers or leaves for the back.  Attach them with glue (if you're lucky enough to have some) or by splitting the end and slipping them in.

5. Collapsible Survival Rifle 

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The Henry Arms AR-7 Survival Rifle breaks down and folds into its own stock so you can pack it in your backpack, the trunk of your car, or whatever conspicuous item you desire.  How convenient is that?  I want one of these little babies for apartment survival.  Dinner is over.  What about the dishes? Lock and load, “The dishes are done, man…” The survival rifle is also good if you’re leading a rebellion against the British. You can get it here for a little over $200. 

4. Life Saving Filtration Bottle

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You can survive for weeks without eating.  You can survive without water for a little over a week.  You need water and you need quite a bit especially if you’re going to be hunting animals and/or hiking your way back to civilization, a shower, and your Xbox.  To keep you wet in the wild, I recommend this filtration device from Life Saver Systems.  It’s so good it can filter your poo.  Seriously.  They say that.  Awesome.

3. Collapsible Fishing Rod

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You never know when you’ll have to cast a line into the inky deep for a little Kraken hunting.  And think how long you could survive in the wild on three tons of Kraken flesh (roughly 1 week until it rots).  For this task, I recommend the pocket fishing pole.  The conceptual successor to the Popeil-branded gadget of notoriety, this device is a more substantial device for garnering sustenance. 

2. Survival Shovel 

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You’re going to need shelter.  It’s one of the three most important things: food, shelter, and foxy ladies.  There’s a variety of lean-tos and makeshift tents you can construct depending on your surroundings, but one tool that almost always can be used in the erecting said structures is the survival shovel.  Alternately usable as a hatchet, the Glock (yeah, like the pistols) collapsible survival shovel is coolest when carving igloos. 

1. Solar Powered Laptop Charger

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You know when people say they would die without their laptop?  Well if you run out of gas trekking through the tundra, this is a very real possibility.  If you’ve got cell or satellite service on your laptop, then this solar-powered laptop charger could keep you going until help arrives.  Or pizza.  Did you know you can order pizza online?  I wonder if they deliver to 57.127296, -112.944946.  Or just use your cell phone with the wind-up phone charger.  

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