Autoerotica is something we can all get behind. In many cases, this is literally true. Real Dolls and online automation are old news, but here's an interesting addition to the ranks of do-it-yourself toys that don't actually make you do it yourself: a voice-activated rabbit vibrator! Valentines Day is going to be so easy this year.
It is programmable with up to 9 different commands that result in changes in speed, intensity, or programmed waves/escalations. So, you can make it go faster if you say "GO FASTER" or you can make it go faster if you say "OH PLEASE STOP!" if you're into that sort of thing.
Or, if you're like me, you could reprogram your girlfriend's to only respond to transformer sounds and quotes.
Prime: "All right, let's blast that solar needle and roll out."
Gears: "I suppose you want me to do that."
Prime: "Be my guest."
That, friends, is sexy, sexy comedy.