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The Top Seven Ways to Turn a Friend into a Friend with Benefits

by girls   August 28, 2009 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 34,830

A friend with benefits (FWB) is the perfect type of friend. The two of you can enjoy endless amounts of casual sex without any of the messiness of a romantic relationship. As long as the correct boundaries are established and neither party forms any emotional attachment, it can be the perfect type of relationship. But it's not as easy as it sounds.

Source: Tim Platt/Iconica/Getty Images

7. Seek Out a Career Girl

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Source: Getty Images

The great thing about a FWB is the convenience factor. You can get laid without having to court a woman. There are no outrageous bar tabs, expensive Italian dinners, or long walks on the beach at dusk. If you're feeling horny and it’s late, you can politely call up your FWB and she’ll (usually) show up. It’s the perfect arrangement for a person who's too busy to date but still has sexual desires that need to be fulfilled.

You’ll most likely have more success targeting a female friend who also has a busy schedule and works way too much. We’re talking women like those in Sex in the City. They want it all – but they don’t have the time. This is where you step in. Call that female friend up who’s constantly complaining about how they’re too busy to meet anyone, organize some drinks, and then get busy with her.

George, a 32-year-old security broker from New York City likes to pursue career women. He says “women with busy careers make great FWBs because they love schedules and will always give you a deadline. To them it’s purely business and I like that.” If you take this route, the woman is likely to be older. However, the upside to this is that they’ll most likely be wealthier. This could mean you gain a sugar momma. It’s a win-win!

6. Be Discreet

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Source: Jon Feingersh/Blend Images/Getty Images

The trick with turning a friend into a FWB is to be discreet about it. Don’t blab your intentions to the world and definitely don’t discuss it with your mutual friends. If a girl has any inkling that you’ve discussed this with your buddies, she will run a mile away. Women may be just as horny and sexual as men, but they don’t want to be viewed as easy, slutty, or promiscuous.

Be careful of blurring the lines between being a FWB and having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. This means that you keep the activities you do together solely in the bedroom. Don’t grab her inappropriately in front of your friends. There is absolutely no room for going to the movies together, grabbing brunch after a marathon sex session, or meeting each other’s parents for Thanksgiving. One of the great thrills of a FWB is that no one needs to know about it.

5. Complain About Relationships

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Source: Gone Wild/Digital Vision/Getty Images

The surest way to turn a friend into a FWB is to destroy their belief in conventional relationships.  If a woman is single and not dating anyone, then she’s probably holding out for “the one.” You need to make it your mission to destroy that illusion. Tell her that “the one” doesn’t exist.

Bond together over your single status. Have deep and meaningful conversations over the struggles of dating and finding that special person. Use her negative experiences to your advantage. Prophesize how simple it would be to have a relationship that was purely about sex, devoid of the crap associated with dating.

Have a list ready of all the negative aspects of dating and relationships. Outline the benefits of a FWB situation in a hypothetical way. Do everything in your power to get her seriously thinking about it and see what happens. All humans have sexual needs and sometimes all it takes is someone to speak the truth, break it down, and make it easy for her to say “Yes.”

4. Target a Newly Single Friend

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Source: David Black/Stone+Getty Images

If you have a female friend who has recently broken up with a long term boyfriend, then you have a limited window to jump in and become her FWB. It’s a little sleazy but you have to act like a scavenger, because if you don’t make it happen ASAP then some other dude will. People who are recently single are generally vulnerable and desperate to hook up with whoever crosses their path with a pulse. Make sure that someone is you.

Roger from Pittsburgh has gotten it on with a couple of college friends who had recently been dumped. He says for the most part the FWB arrangement worked out great. “We had great sex,” Roger says. “She got over her ex and I got frequent casual sex.”

It is important to be wary when entering the FWB zone with a friend recently out of a relationship. Recently Roger hooked up with a newly single friend who was carry a lot of emotional baggage. He said, “She wanted me to be a shoulder to cry on. She was constantly talking about her ex, got all clingy on me, and wanted to have ‘the talk.’” Don’t stand for this. If they break the FWB rules then it’s time to break it off.

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