Car makers go to great strides to offer the latest in useful gadgetry and customization options in their cars. For whatever reason, some people out there feel like those manufacturers just didn’t take it far enough. These misguided souls ravenously seek gear to put in, on, and around their cars - perhaps in hopes of standing out in the crowd. But it’s pretty doubtful that the kind of attention these accessories get is the sort they’re seeking.
by Brad Iger
The following article does not represent the opinions of Spike TV or its affiliates.
7. French Fry Cup Holder
At what point does unhinged gluttony hit critical mass? If French fries have been such a staple in your daily routine that you need a device for your car designed specifically to chow down on the go, it might be time to reevaluate your dieting habits. Here’s a great holiday gift for the guy who in the senior yearbook who was voted “Most Likely to Get Diabetes.”
6. Neon Anything
Okay, seriously – what is the appeal here? Are you pretending your car is a spaceship? A flying saucer from the planet Auto Zone? To me, it just looks like a hoopty with a bunch of raver paraphernalia glued to it. I mean, I like Tron as much as the next guy, but a Scion is not a lightcycle, and the amount of neon crap you put on it is inversely proportional to its cool factor.
5. Fake Hood Scoops
Forty years ago, hood scoops were totally badass. By putting a vent in the hood to catch cold air, the engine could create more power by colder, denser air forced into the engine via the carburetor mounted atop the engine. Not only did it serve a purpose, it looked awesome.
That was then. Your typical modern air induction systems pull in air from the fender wall instead of from the center of the engine bay. So now, hood scoops are in nearly all cases, totally useless. Which is why most modern ones are fake – simply a plugged vent on the hood or, even worse: a fake scoop that is actually glued on top of a normal hood. For shame.
Can someone tell me who thought it was a good idea to put TVs into cars? This guy needs a donkey punch of biblical proportions. When you’re piloting a 2 ton chunk of metal at high speeds, the last thing you should doing is catching up on season 3 of Heroes. This is brain surgery compared to talking on the phone while driving. And we wonder why traffic sucks all the time. Turn off the TV and drive.
3. Lambo Doors
Back in the '80s, crazy doors were all the rage because of cars like the Delorean and the Countach, which looked new and futuristic at time. Now, even Lamborghini is over it. But some people still haven’t gotten the message.
More than anything, I just can’t figure out what the draw is here. This makes getting into and out of your car ten times more of a pain in the ass because now you not only need clearance on the side of your car, but also above it as well.
That’ll be a fun conversation to have on a first date. And that’s aside from the fact that Lambo doors look laughably ridiculous on anything other than a Lamborghini.
THEY SPINNIN’, THEYYYY SPINNIN’!!!
Ya dude, they’re spinning. It’s blowing my mind.
Actually, what’s blowing my mind is how much money you wasted on those gimmicky wheels. Call me crazy, but putting $5,000 rims on a $1,500 car seems like top shelf stupidity. Trying to draw attention away from the fact that you drive a clapped-out ’89 Buick Riviera by slapping big shiny things on it seems less effective than just buying a nicer car.
1. Whistle Tips
When this little piece of metal started getting welded to mufflers, it really became a metaphor for just how far narcissism within modern society could go. Mercifully a pretty short-lived trend, the whistle tip is without a doubt the most ridiculous automotive accessory ever conceived.
Having no practical function, the whistle tip’s sole purpose was to annoy people. I suppose in that regard it was pretty brilliant, since all it does is emit a loud, constant, screeching whistling sound from the muffler while the car is in motion. Good times.