Sometimes the edgiest humor out there is gross-out humor. Gross-out humor pushes the envelope all the way off the table and can even leave you sick to your stomach, but you’re too busy laughing to be bothered by it. Deep down there’s a 13-year-old inside all of us, and there’s nothing that eighth grader wants more than to see someone drink something disgusting or get pooped on. Here are the most memorable moments we wish we could forget.
Source: Warner Bros. Pictures
10. Stand By Me
Stand By Me has possibly the best barfing scene of any movie in the history of movies. Take a bitter fat kid – the infamous Lardass, a pie-eating contest, a bottle of Castor Oil, and a raw egg. What do you get? You get an entire town’s worth of people puking up purple blueberry barf on each other. The first time I saw this scene when I was a kid I almost puked myself. One of the great gross-out moments in films, and one of the worst date movies ever.
There are so many gross, awkward moments in Borat it’s hard to choose just one, but the moment when Borat presents his dinner hosts with a plastic bag containing his own turd definitely takes the cake. Anyone who’s ever been to a boring dinner party has fantasized of how to liven it up. Thank you, Borat, for showing us one, awkward way.
8. Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
One of man’s worst nightmares is depicted in Harold Kumar Go to White Castle: the heroes are forced to witness two hot girls get into a pooping contest. The sounds and smells are enough to make any man lose interest in these hotties, but it goes beyond this: it makes us want to close our eyes and plug our ears. Sometimes it’s better to leave things to the imagination. When it comes to girls dropping a deuce in the hole, this is always the case.
Few people are acquainted with Happiness, arguably the funniest black comedy of the past 30 years. Writer/director Todd Solondz shows us the most miserable and the most cruel sides of humanity. Allen, played by Philip Seymour Hoffman, is a man who gets his jollies by sexually harassing women on prank phone calls. At one point we see that he uses the spunk after one particularly nasty call to hang post cards on his wall. It’s one of the more disgusting images in modern cinema, even if it’s also one of the funniest. The gross-out moments don’t really stop there, which isn’t surprising considering that other characters in the movie consist of rapists, murderers, and pedophiles. So if you’re looking for a gross-out movie that’s not an immature college caper, Happiness is your flick.
6. Animal House
If it weren’t for Animal House all those gross-out moments we’ve come to know and love in the movies – particularly in college comedies – wouldn’t exist. In fact, Animal House singlehandedly invented the college gross-out comedy genre. One might say the gross-out moment was first created in the scene where John Blutarsky, aka Bluto (played by John Belushi) invades an Omega lunch with Otter (Tim Matheson). After one of the uptight sorority girls calls Bluto a “P-I-G pig!” he fills his mouth with a mound of butter and asks her if she knows what he is. He then smashes his cheeks together, spraying food onto everyone at the table, and yells, “I'm a zit! Get it?” An obligatory food fight – perhaps the best in all of cinema – ensues. Film history has never been the same. 5. Trainspotting
Source: Miramax Films
Though Trainspotting actually has a serious message about drug abuse and poverty buried in it somewhere, overall it’s a very funny movie with lots of disturbingly gross moments. The worst of them all is when Renton (Ewan McGregor) dives into the filthiest toilet in the filthiest bathroom in Edinburgh in search of a couple of suppositories. Most people wouldn’t even want to look at this toilet, much less plunge head first into it, but that’s exactly what Renton does. It doesn’t help that he’s in search of a couple pills to stick up his ass. Well done, sir, you successfully grossed us out for the proceeding 16 years.
4. Knocked Up
Anyone who’s seen Judd Apatow’s Knocked Up knows what moment I’m going to nominate: that’s right, the birthing scene. We get an unprettified, up-close-and-personal look at a woman’s vagina right as a baby’s head is bursting forth unto the world. And it. Is. Nasty. I mean, really nasty. If you need a reason to not go to medical school and become an obstetrician, look no further. You won’t want to look at a vagina for at least 10 seconds after watching this scene.
3. American Pie 2
Source: Universal Pictures/Getty Images
American Pie 2 is notable for its total lack of quality or value in terms of its contributions to cinema, but it does have one extremely gross scene. You know the one: Steve Stifler (Sean William Scott) drinks an entire glass of man juice. That’s right, he guzzles down almost a healthy pint of penis protein, and it’s damn near the most revolting thing a dude (or dudette, for that matter) can make himself watch. But then, if you’re going to watch a movie as worthless as American Pie 2, you might as well watch Stifler get his comeuppance.
2. The Hangover
The Hangover is awesome in so many ways, but it's awesome perhaps more than any other way because it doesn’t stop shocking us, right to the very end. During the end credits, once we think there are no more funny, horrific, or downright bizarre moments, we get the grossest, most shocking moment of all: the sight of Zach Galifianakis getting blown in an elevator by a hooker. And, yes, we see the penis. Rumor is they used a “fake” penis and that’s why the MPAA let them get away with it. Fake penis or no, the revulsion and shock are real. Well done, sirs, well done.
1. There’s Something About Mary
When it comes down to it, there are more shocking/gross out/offensive moments than not in There’s Something About Mary, inarguably the Farrelly brothers’ magnum opus. They officially claimed the gold medal for most revolting/hair-raising/soul-chilling moment ever captured on film during the scene where Ted (Ben Stiller) gets his testicles caught in his zipper in Mary’s (Cameron Diaz) bathroom before getting hauled off on a stretcher. The moment we actually see his entangled ball sack trapped between the metal teeth of his zipper is much like when people hear earth-shattering news. You remember where you were, what you were doing, and who you were with.
And you remember that image, burned into your brain forever like a tattoo on your cerebellum. Damn you, Farrelly brothers. Damn your wicked souls.