Elisha Cuthbert is No Longer the NHL's Top Puck Bunny

August 16, 2010

Over the weekend, Hillary Duff joined Carrie Underwood in the exciting world of celebrity hockey wives. Sadly, despite dating half of the player’s union, Elisha Cuthbert has yet to be inducted into this club, effectively making her the Jennifer Aniston of NHL girlfriends.

Duff, who wed Edmonton Oilers plus-minus victim Mike Comrie, now accompanies Underwood, D.J. Tanner (Candace Cameron), Gina Lee Nolan, and dozens of other attractive young women on the list of A(ish)-List Hollywood personalities who have skated down the aisle with professional hockey players.

Cuthbert, however, still boasts a gaping absence on her left ring finger, even though her sexual scorecard doubles as a list of NHL penalty minute leaders.

Her current boyfriend, Dion Phaneuf, has yet to propose and recently battled rumors of romancing a teammate's wife earlier this season. (Cuthbert's ex-boyfriend and NHL nuisance Sean Avery publically asked Phaneuf how his "sloppy seconds taste” in a hilarious television interview last year which probably didn't help matters, either.)

Approaching the almost unmarry-able age of 28, the clock on Cuthbert’s prime is clearly ticking away and her position atop the puck bunny hierarchy appears to be a distant memory. (At 22-years-old, Duff is the Sidney Crosby to Cuthbert’s Vincent LeCavalier.)

To some, Cuthbert has become the Alexi Yashin of jersey chasers. A once promising foreign prospect with the world at her feet, who has since deteriorated into a second-rate talent who ruins nearly every franchise she’s associated with. To others, she is a female Todd Bertuzzi, constantly being passed around the league in a desperate hope to secure a ring before being put out to pasture.

To Spike.com Sports Editor David Breitman, she is the reason the Calgary Flames are stuck paying Matt Stajan $4 million a year, because she jinxed our franchise and tore apart the locker room to the point where her boyfriend essentially demanded a trade.

Cuthbert is many things to many people. You know, except a suitable marriage partner.

Photo: Evan Agostini/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images