The Pill Makes Women Pick Men Who Suck In Bed

October 12, 2011

Birth control is a truly wonderful thing. Yeah, yeah, feminism, freeing women from carrying the consequences while the guy can get away scot-free, whatever, we just like the fact that it can let women sleep around with as little consequence as us guys. Unfortunately, the downside tends to make women pick the duds in bed.

Women in the US, Canada, the Czech Republic and Britain who had at least one kid got a pop quiz about the father of said child, and pretty uniformly they all said he wasn't great in the looks department or awesome in the sack, but he was a superb long-term provider. Why? Because the pill is, naturally, hormones, and taking a lot of hormones on a regular basis can apparently muck with your brain chemistry.

It's like this: when the uterus takes control of a woman's brain, it's looking for genetically dissimilar men, since two people of wildly different genes will probably have a stronger baby. No, guys have no similar excuse when their crotch takes over. But on the pill, the uterus is told to STFU and the brain looks for genetically similar guys, the ones who will be good providers.

There are upsides and downsides to this. On the upside, the women on the pill had longer lasting relationships and were less likely to break up. On the downside, it made them more likely to become stereotypes as they tended to reject sex more as the relationship matured, and they were more likely to be the one dumping instead of the dumpee.

In short, if your girlfriend was on the pill when she met you, you may want to consider hitting the gym and maybe, uh, getting a few pointers. Just as insurance.

Photo: Peter Dazeley/Photographer's Choice/Getty Images

Note: The photos in this article are being used for illustrative purposes only; any person depicted in the photos is a model.