The Top 10 Best Songs To Have Sex To

September 15, 2008

I’ve always thought that using music to manipulate a situation or atmosphere is an underrated talent. I have literally seen DJs change the entire mood of a crowd by merely playing the right song at the right time. I’m convinced this is why so many ugly musicians and DJs get laid all the time. Groupies/fans aren’t having sex with the person, they’re having sex with the music. And since I'm not a world famous musician, I see no problem with using some groovy tunes to get what I want.

10. "Wildcat" - Ratatat

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The greatest aspect of this song is the sound sample of an actual wildcat screaming in pride. Add this ferocious audio clip to some dope electronic-instrumentals and you’ve got yourself a serious bedroom banger.

The hypnotic Ratatat rhythm alone will keep the lovemaking intense, but the "call of a wildcat" could easily cross you over into some undiscovered sexual territory. Me-ow.

 

9. “Battery” - Metallica

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I had sex to this thrash song once and it didn’t end well. The sex was great, but I made the mistake of thinking of Lars’s ugly face in the middle of my epic pumping. Puke.

So why is this song on the list? Because up to that devastating point, it was unbelievably awesome. Not only is this song one of the greatest speed metal tracks ever made, it also turned my lady friend into a complete demon. The Master of Puppets number transformed her from a timid Los Angeles gal into a sexual beast out for my blood. This is a great song for the bedroom, but I would just approach it with extreme caution. Metal!


8. “Why don't we do it in the Road?” - The Beatles

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There are a lot of Beatles songs you can get your groove on to, but this one has to be the most fun. The sheer idea of getting your sex on in the middle of the road is just plain awesome. And I love it how there are only two simple lines in the entirety of this White Album track. It's short, simple and to the point…just like sex.

 

7. "Everything in its Right Place by "- Radiohead

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If you really want to get into a college girl’s panties just drop this jam after a few kegstands and you’ll be good as gold. Just lay back, relax and let Thom Yorke pump out Radiohead’s brilliant Kid A headlining masterpiece. While the lyrics don't actually mean that much, the warm electronic sounds capes will surely help any young man part the red sea with ease. Enjoy.


6. "Bump n' Grind" - R. Kelly

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My mind is telling me no but my body my body's telling me yes

I (baby) don't want to hurt nobody

But there is something that I must confess........... (chill)

I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind
I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind

Enough said.

 

5. "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" - Daft Punk

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This is the aerobics workout of sex songs. There is no need to even think, just the follow simple instructions: "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" Thank you, Daft Punk!

 

4. "Between the Sheets" - The Isley Brothers

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Even though this Isley landmark was released way back in ‘83, it still remains a standard for classic love makin’ music. With Ronald Isley's soft vocals placed over a smooth synthesized concoction, "Between the Sheets" can instantly remove clothes in any sexual setting. They just don’t make R&B jams like they use to.

The Biggie version ain’t half bad either…

 

3. “Wicked Game - Chris Isaak

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While we're all aware that the video for this track is one of the sexiest of all time, and the song can also totally exude lust on all on its own. From its slow slide guitar intro to Isaak's soothing tenor voice, Wicked Game is guaranteed to get things started with your special friend.

”Wicked Game” + A Bottle Red Wine = Love Potion No. 9

 

2. Marvin Gaye - "Sexual Healing"

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Don’t get me wrong, I really do love “Let’s Get It On,” I just don’t think it’s the best Marvin Gaye song to knock boots to. In my opinion, Marvin’s 1982 track "Sexual Healing" pretty much has it all. How can you go wrong with positive sexual lyrical content, dope digital instrumentation and a rejuvenated Marvin turning out another classic vocal performance? This song is basically telling you sex is good for your health. This man was a genius.

 

1. James Brown - “Sex Machine”

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I know this is an easy number one to pick, but I really don’t care.  It's just that good.

The best thing about having sex to this song is the that the classic "Sex Machine" rhythm helps you discover new love moves you never knew existed. The beat just tells you what to do. We all know it’s literally impossible not to move your body to this song, imagine what it could do for you in the bedroom? I love the funk.

How can one man rule the dance floors and the bed frames all at the same time? Thanks for showin’ us the way, Mr. Brown.

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